Author Archives: majorterata

The New Senate (Minority) Majority

Once again, in the immortal words of Homer Simpson, “When are people going to learn . . . democracy doesn’t work.” In an American biennial tradition this week, a fraction of eligible voters trudged to the polls to cast votes … Continue reading

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Draining Barrels of Ink for Empty Scoops

In the summer of 2004 as the presidential race between party nominees George W. Bush and John Kerry was moving into higher gear, attention of the die-hard political whores turned toward the question of whom Kerry might choose as his … Continue reading

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Luxury Never Sleeps

The theme of this blog is “Culture Justly Scrutinized,” and nothing acts as a barometer of culture quite like the ebb and flow of luxury items. Curiously, a lot of activity has taken place in the past several days with … Continue reading

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Pablo Picasso Never Got Called an Asshole

“He was only five foot three but girls could not resist his stare – Pablo Picasso never got called an asshole.” This declaration by Jonathan Richman on the seminal 1972 album The Modern Lovers could not be more true today … Continue reading

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Have You or a Loved One Been Injured?

A staple of cable television advertising is the legal profession’s call to action for viewers suffering from the side-effects of popular drugs and common surgical procedures to rise up and get litigious. Mesothelioma has long been a stalwart malady for … Continue reading

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Fear of Flying

With another case of Ebola recently confirmed in the United States, the number of infected people on American soil jumped 50 percent to three, thus advancing the deadly disease into a full-blown epidemic. And coupled with the surprising (well, maybe … Continue reading

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Barack Hussein Ebola

ISIS is a crisis and Ebola is spreading faster than the virulent Macarena craze of 1995. According to the xenophobes who fear for the future of America, the only thing we can do now is . . . seal the … Continue reading

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Saint Derek of Jeter

Now that Derek Jeter, New York Yankees long-time short-stop and team captain, has retired from Major League Baseball, it seems a near certainty that he will achieve sainthood well ahead of Mother Teresa and Pope John Paul II. For a … Continue reading

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The Wormholes Behind the Wainscoting

Everyone who has ever bought an older house has probably been shocked at one time or another by the discovery of vermin and rotted wood so well-hidden behind burled paneling, or beneath lacquered flooring. Until that point of discovery – … Continue reading

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This Week in Ingrates

Clare Booth Luce (or was it Oscar Wilde?) famously warned, “No good deed goes unpunished.” These days that seems like a tautology. Is there anyone of privilege left willing to accept the best and final offer without throwing a hissy-fit … Continue reading

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Standing On Line Behind the Human Hemorrhoid

On occasion I’ll stop at a local inconvenience store in the morning to pick up a newspaper and a cup of tea – a transaction that, once I get to the register, takes all of 20 seconds. But because this … Continue reading

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Lesson from Vietnam: 105 Degrees in the Caliphate and Rising

Rory Kennedy’s “Last Days in Vietnam,” like so many excellent historical documentaries (think “The Fog of War” and “Harlan County, USA”) clarifies context and reveals critical details that often elude the cursory treatment offered in high-school and college curricula from … Continue reading

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Execution Before Exoneration

A grade-school riddle went like this: Where does seven come before six? Answer: In the dictionary. The same riddle could be altered to ask when execution comes before exoneration, but the real answer to that unfunny joke is the United … Continue reading

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It’s Titanic in the Sky – Oh, the Humanity!

Werner Franz, the last surviving crew member of the ill-fated German dirigible Hindenberg died a couple weeks ago. Franz was a 14-year-old cabin boy working in a lower deck of the dirigible who managed to kick open a hatch Indiana-Jones … Continue reading

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Now You See it, Now You . . . Still See it?

Almost a year ago Facebook offered $3 billion for Snapchat, a tiny company that had made almost no money since its founding in 2011 – and in typical hubristic Silicon Valley style, Snapchat’s founders told Facebook to fuck off. Now, … Continue reading

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The Savage Wiener on Ebola

A couple weeks ago on a drive out of New York City, knowing that the fast-moving but densely packed traffic could well be leading soon into a stopped up jam, I flipped on the AM radio for a status on … Continue reading

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The Lesson of Prime Numbers

Prime numbers – those divisible by none other than themselves and 1 – have fascinated mathematicians going back millennia. For thousands of years mathematicians have labored – ciphering tedious, error-prone calculations deep into the oil-lamp-illuminated night for months on end … Continue reading

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Puritans Get Their Panties in a Bunch

“For an erection lasting more than four hours.” Every day on TV, in day-time and prime-time, on weekdays and weekends, this once-titillating phrase is uttered quite casually by an off-screen narrator in advertisements for Cialis, a “daily use” medication to … Continue reading

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La Commedia è Finita!

Immediately following the report that Robin Williams killed himself, the news and entertainment media launched into the predictable frenzy of non-stop coverage that by law must include speculation from psychologists, staid reports bereft of content from law enforcement officials, interviews … Continue reading

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Holy Toledo!

Every day is like St. Paddy’s Day in Toledo. Call it the stoplight syndrome. Only after a pedestrian is crushed to death at a notoriously dangerous intersection do the authorities decide to install a stoplight. Prior to death, hand-wringing in … Continue reading

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