Author Archives: majorterata

Oscar Prediction Tally

My predictions for the 2014 Academy Awards were fairly accurate given the breadth and strength of the nominees (and the often unpredictable mood of voting members.) Of the major awards, I predicted Best Picture, Best Actor, Best Actress and Best … Continue reading

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Sh*t My Phony Goldman Sachs Trader Says

In 2009, a small-time comedian named Justin Halpern started a Twitter feed called @shitmydadsays featuring verbatim posts of his father’s coarse observations, crude advice and utterances of suburban wisdom. For every clever quote (“That woman was sexy. . . . … Continue reading

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Obligatory Oscar Outlook

Like millions of others I have ideas on who and what will win Oscars at the upcoming Academy Awards ceremony on March 2. Today (Feb 26) I’ve documented my picks for every category and will revisit them in the coming … Continue reading

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My Way or the Arizona Highway

A couple of gay dudes wanted to get married in the sovereign state of Washington about a year ago, a process that is legal there. In between lining up a caterer, hiring a limo and picking out invitation stationery, the … Continue reading

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50 Years a Slave to Vietnam

Fiftieth anniversaries of historic events tend to revive memories of those old enough to recall them, as well as stoking interest in those who may have no inkling of their importance. Last year’s anniversary of JFK’s assassination was met by … Continue reading

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The Dead Pool

Somewhere near the middle of the Academy Awards ceremony the organizers air a segment called “In Memoriam” in which a few dozen select members who have died in the previous 12 months are featured in a montage of film clips … Continue reading

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(Speaker of the) House Rules

A couple days ago the 535-member Vaudeville troupe known as “Congress” voted to raise the debt ceiling of the United States – a ridiculous process not endured by any other nation in the world except Denmark which has an almost … Continue reading

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Mad Men Showcase Stupid White Men

I infrequently watch television, but when I do I’m invariably assaulted by a truly irritating commercial for Crestor, AstraZeneca’s monster $7 billion cholesterol drug. Relying on a disturbing pattern that has become cemented across the TV commercial spectrum, the Crestor … Continue reading

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Where Have All the Odd Times Gone?

My great-aunt – born at the turn of the 20th century, a woman who might have been dubbed a “spinster” when that term still had currency – was a world-traveler and voracious reader and collector of books. After she died, … Continue reading

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Publish, then Perish?

A couple weeks ago, film director Quentin Tarantino learned from his agent that his screenplay, “The Hateful Eight” had been leaked. He rightfully threw a fit, laid down some surmised accusations (actors Bruce Dern and Michael Madsen, producer Reggie Hudlin), … Continue reading

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Dead Yet?

Every now and then, while watching TV or scanning a magazine, we come across a quasi-famous, once-notable, vaguely familiar person who has been out of the public eye for years or decades, and ask ourselves – is he or she … Continue reading

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Cards and Movies

Of all the forms of magic, I find sleight of hand to be the most entertaining and elegant. Cris Angel performs some very elaborate and mind-boggling illusions as does David Blaine, but I can’t help thinking that many of the … Continue reading

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A Taste of Bitcoins

A thing is worth whatever someone is willing to pay for it. My father told me this when I was about nine or ten. I had expressed amazement upon learning that a sports collector had paid $1,000 for a baseball … Continue reading

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Gun Metal Grey

All Photos (c) 2014 Major Terata Publications

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In a word: “Screed”

My favorite splenetic xenophobe, Lou Dobbs, has a new book out. So does former Secretary of Defense Robert Gates. And like virtually every book penned by political pundits these have one-word titles. I suppose the publishers’ thinking is that a … Continue reading

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Big Pharma Scrabble

My cousin Oxymandias (not his real name) works at GlaxoSmithKline as a pharmaceutical salesman, better known as a drug rep. Most days he could also be called a delivery boy for Panera Bread. You see, Oxymandias has a big quota … Continue reading

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Amtrak 234. A serialized short story by Herb Schultz

Part Ten. The Thrilling Conclusion. Cary awoke from a languid and luxurious dream in which he made love to his first girlfriend, rewound to a time when he was 19 years old and she was a virginal 16. The girlfriend … Continue reading

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Amtrak 234. A serialized short story by Herb Schultz

Part Nine. Billy has a Vision Like No Other. After disgorging the five suits who had abandoned the idled Amtrak train for a ride to the Dinsmore Golf Course clubhouse with hopes of getting to Manhattan before the end of … Continue reading

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Amtrak 234. A serialized short story by Herb Schultz

Part Eight. Billy Rubin Visits the Crash Site. Rubbing his spasmodic lower abdomen, Billy race-walked toward a stand of trees behind Dinsmore Golf Course’s 15th green but he didn’t make it in time, and soiled himself. The volume accumulated in … Continue reading

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Amtrak 234. A serialized short story by Herb Schultz

Part Seven. Amtrak 234 Meets Cary Hayes. Cary backed his car out of the Mills Mansion visitor parking lot and drove down the narrow, ill-maintained driveway made up almost entirely of asphalt patches applied over the decades. Cary marveled at … Continue reading

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