Author Archives: majorterata

Trump and His Executive Odors

NAFTA-hater Trump signed two executive orders this past Friday that are intended to lay the groundwork for new policies and stricter enforcement of trade laws. In a ceremony akin to the recognition of a Nobel laureate, the Orange man scribbled … Continue reading

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Showing Some Thigh

Last June, citizens of the United Kingdom shocked the Western world when they voted 52 to 48 percent to leave the European Union. Interestingly, the Scottish voted quite overwhelmingly 62 to 38 against leaving the EU, also known as “Brexit.” … Continue reading

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The AHCA Turns into an ACHE

Paul Ryan explains what Congress’s new toilet paper will be made of. A man rolls into an emergency room with a large but routine gash on his leg. Expecting to have his wound stitched up, he’s instead told that the … Continue reading

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Tears for Sears

On page 48 of the 2016 Annual Report for Sears, a company that was a venerated retailer for more than a century until a thing called “the internets” intruded, we find this remarkable passage: “Our historical operating results indicate substantial … Continue reading

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Not to Be Confused With

Although the Trump Administration is already 50 long days into the term, most of his key advisors and cabinet members are still unknown to many Americans. Perhaps it’s because few of them have ever served in public office before, and … Continue reading

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NSA to Wikileaks: 404 Page Not Found

By now it should be clear that Wikileaks and its slithery founder Julian Assange exist explicitly to hurt and embarrass the United States – not that the U.S. doesn’t deserve some reprobation for its decidedly covert, undemocratic actions. But the … Continue reading

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Wire Fraud

As soon as he completes remedial spelling, Trump to call for Congressional investigation into whether Obama is bad, or just sick. There are plenty of reasons to disbelieve Trump’s claim that Obama issued an order to “tapp” the Orange man’s … Continue reading

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This Week in Boners

It never ceases to amaze how often highly-paid, so-called professionals screw the pooch. Here is a brief synopsis of just some of the boners pulled this past week. The Oh, Really? Factor Fox News stooge and formerly bow-tied dweeb Tucker … Continue reading

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Trumpus Interruptus

All-Trump-all-the-time is beginning to wear thin. Major Terata will lay off the Orange man and the gaseous cloud that envelops his fantasy world for awhile. We’ll give him leave so he can climb aboard Marine One and pursue new elixirs … Continue reading

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Forget Fact-Checking; Just Call “Bullshit”

Trump at CPAC in front of streamlined Constitution. Now with 66% fewer amendments! Thanks to a last-minute invitation from a group of gay Republicans, Trump snagged a speaking slot at the 2011 gathering of the Conservative Political Action Conference where … Continue reading

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No Reach-Around from CPAC for Milo

Conservative, gay rabble-rouser Milo Yiannopoulos (nee. Hanrahan) was thwarted recently from making a speech at U.C. Berkeley by rowdy students who didn’t appreciate giving the flaming flame-thrower a platform to disgorge what they considered hate speech. Based on Yiannopoulos’ past, … Continue reading

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After Ronald Reagan nominated Robert Bork for a seat on the Supreme Court, Democrats in the Senate went after the scraggly-bearded Duck Dynasty judge with a vengeance. Having been one of Richard Nixon’s loyal automatons during the Watergate scandal, Bork … Continue reading

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Out Like Flynn

“Flim-Flam” Flynn wrongly indicates how many more days he expects to keep his job. Forced by circumstances of his own making, General Michael Flynn belatedly tendered his resignation as Trump’s National Security Advisor, ending a tenure of 24 days which … Continue reading

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Twitty Conway

By now the whole world knows (whether all will admit it is another thing) that Kellyanne Conway, the Trump Whisperer, is a bona fide twit. The ditzy blonde went on MSNBC to tell fellow twit Chris Matthews that Trump’s ban … Continue reading

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A Kushy Job

The kind of takedown of Jared Kushner we’d love to see… The U.S. recently raided an Al-Qaeda compound in Yemen with the goal of confiscating laptops and cell phones in the hope of collecting inside intel on the terrorist group … Continue reading

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Trick Question

Proud of his grade, Trump shows off his executive order to the rest of the kindergarten class. “The Generals,” as Trump refers to them as though they’re an amorphous blob (or maybe he’s confused them with the team that always … Continue reading

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The Oaf of Office

The official transcript of the Oath of Office as administered by Chief Justice of the U.S. John Roberts to Donald Trump, January 20, 2017: Roberts: Raise your right pussy grabber and repeat after me. I, Donald John Trump — Trump: … Continue reading

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A Scary Home Companion

Amazon has come a long way since the days it shipped books and bowling balls at a loss direct to consumers who ordered such products on a new-fangled invention called the internet. Out of necessity, but also with an intuitive … Continue reading

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Trump Gags on his Own Medicine

Apparently, Trump doesn’t like the taste of his own medicine. That’s right; like dozens of commodities that bear his “luxury” name, Trump has his own brand of medicine which entails endless, shameless shilling of unsubstantiated innuendo and false rumors. But … Continue reading

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The Envelope Please…

…And the award for most overrated actress goes to…. RRRRRIPPPPP Meryl Streep! This is the first award for Ms. Streep in the category of most overrated actress, and the only award she has never won. Truly an honor. Deepest congratulations, … Continue reading

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