Category Archives: Obits

The Heist Movie

As a fan of heist movies, I saw Logan Lucky last week and was, as expected, disappointed – for too many heist movies suffer from the same problems: major plot holes and all-too-convenient twists that turn certain doom into success … Continue reading

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Resign with Honesty – Please

Former White House press secretary Sean Spicer endured unrelenting opprobrium and ridicule during his short stint in the job – much of it coming from his malignant boss Trump. Day after day, week after week the man could do no … Continue reading

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RIP: Martin Landau

I was a faithful fan of the 1960s TV show “Mission: Impossible” with its dramatic self-destructing tape introducing the week’s impossible mission to IM Forces leader Jim Phelps. Following the tense theme song by Lalo Shiffrin, the next few minutes … Continue reading

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Dem Bums

After losing by -2.8 million votes, Dems have to do better Once again readers of the New York Times were treated to sage analysis about how the Democrats are a pubic hair away from complete irrelevance. In today’s Sunday Review … Continue reading

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F is for Ford

Detroit automakers hate government regulations and will deploy armies of lobbyists to get their way in Washington. And they routinely win. The argument goes like this: auto industry experts at such companies as GM, Chrysler and Ford know way more … Continue reading

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Solved: The Mystery of the Dead (W)Ailes

Last week, the unidentified rotting corpse of a 50-foot-long corpulent creature washed up on a beach in Indonesia. Confused locals took photographs with their smartphones that went around the world of the immense blob of slimy, smelly flesh. Noxious decomposition … Continue reading

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The AHCA Turns into an ACHE

Paul Ryan explains what Congress’s new toilet paper will be made of. A man rolls into an emergency room with a large but routine gash on his leg. Expecting to have his wound stitched up, he’s instead told that the … Continue reading

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Strap Gail Collins to the Roof

Gail Collins, one of the lamer op-ed columnists for the New York Times wrote a piece the other day about Mitt Romney’s embarrassing dinner with Trump in which the former Governor and presidential candidate sucked up to the orange man … Continue reading

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Recount Blues for the Orange Man

Are you ready for more of this? Jill Stein and her Green group want to force a recount of the votes cast in Wisconsin, Michigan and maybe Pennsylvania where the gap separating Clinton and Trump is miniscule. And after a … Continue reading

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With Voters Like These…

Trump in his own sassy words. No matter what happens tomorrow, Trump will at least get votes from these schnooks: “Little Marco” Rubio who once said, “we have a frontrunner, in my party, who has fed into language that basically … Continue reading

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Error on Terror

Warning! Probably not terror! Eerily similar to the terrorist incident during the Boston Marathon in 2013, a bomb hidden in a garbage can along the route of a 5K foot race in Seaside Park, NJ exploded – thankfully without injuring … Continue reading

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Cut That Man a Check

Mass murderer Omar Mateen when he was only just a douchebag The moment the stock market opened on the Monday after this past weekend’s horrific mass shooting in Orlando, the share prices of prominent arms makers – Ruger, Smith & … Continue reading

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Jaw-Dropping Clickbait

Ever since content aggregators on the web began delivering links to original news reported and written by professional outlets for free, journalists and publishers have wrung their hands over the dim future of traditional newspapers. Subscribers have cancelled out, local … Continue reading

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RIP George Kennedy

Burly George Kennedy, winner of the 1968 Academy Award for Best Supporting Actor in the always-fresh “Cool Hand Luke,” died the other day at age 91. Kennedy was one of those rare supporting character actors whose both face and name … Continue reading

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Scalia Ducks Out

During a hunting expedition in Texas this week Antonin Scalia croaked at age 79, leaving a big hole in the Supreme Court. Depending on your point of view, Scalia was either a beacon of judicial brilliance or a piece of … Continue reading

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My Bowie Story

I became a David Bowie fan – as I suspect many people my age did – following the release of “Space Oddity” in 1973. Re-release actually. Unbeknownst to many at the time, Bowie had first released the song in 1969, … Continue reading

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Holly Came From Miami F-L-A

Holly Woodlawn, a transgender woman once known as Haroldo Santiago Franceschi Rodriguez Danhakl who came to New York City in the gritty 1960s by way of the Catskills and Miami Beach, died from cancer last Sunday at age 69. After … Continue reading

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NYS Vampires Go After Daily Fantasy Sports

The Attorney General of New York, Eric Schneiderman has come out strong against DraftKings and FanDuel, two operators of internet-based daily fantasy sports (DFS) games. In a letter to Nigel Eccles, CEO of FanDuel, the NYS AG called out the … Continue reading

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Analysts: The Captain Hindsights of Wall Street

Could there be anything more irritating while you’re hemorrhaging money than to be lectured ex post facto on the “obvious-to-everyone-but-you” trends and directions of stock prices by hyper-insulated, highly-compensated financial experts? Like Captain Hindsight of “South Park” fame who zooms … Continue reading

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Ahmad Chalabi Dies; Takes New Job as Concierge in Hell

“Dickhead” Ahmad Chalabi gets you the best seats to Hell’s top show, “Cirque du Saddam” No one can take greater credit for conning the United States into invading Iraq than Ahmad Chalabi, the scoundrel who twisted data, recruited expert liars … Continue reading

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