Category Archives: Obits

Fahrenheit 12-D

Right-wingers are apoplectic over Nike’s new ad campaign featuring ex-49ers quarterback and NFL persona-non-gratis Colin Kaepernick. So incensed are they over the appearance of the traitorous Kaepernick in the new “Just Do it” campaign that they are actually burning their … Continue reading

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The Brain Attached to the Mouth

In grade school, if you mentioned that you play the organ, you could expect to be queried on whether you also toot the skin flute. It’s just that way in grade school. I hearkened back to those dismal days and … Continue reading

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Problems Solved with a Stroke of the Crayon

Let’s face it: Trump, led by the nose by his xenophobic advisers Steven Miller and Jefferson Bagins Sessions, blew it with his executive order separating children from immigrant parents seeking asylum. Yes, this kind of shit plays well with the … Continue reading

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The Whiny Bitch

Trump is a whiny bitch – that much is evident from the myriad times he’s cast himself as having been treated “very unfairly.” Despite having been born with a silver spoon in his mouth and a convenient bone spur in … Continue reading

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Make America Choke Again

Although it happened almost 50 years ago, I clearly recollect celebrating the first Earth Day on April 22, 1970 when our entire eighth grade class marched several block to a nearby college to listen to speeches denouncing the ongoing desecration … Continue reading

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The Heist Movie

As a fan of heist movies, I saw Logan Lucky last week and was, as expected, disappointed – for too many heist movies suffer from the same problems: major plot holes and all-too-convenient twists that turn certain doom into success … Continue reading

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Resign with Honesty – Please

Former White House press secretary Sean Spicer endured unrelenting opprobrium and ridicule during his short stint in the job – much of it coming from his malignant boss Trump. Day after day, week after week the man could do no … Continue reading

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RIP: Martin Landau

I was a faithful fan of the 1960s TV show “Mission: Impossible” with its dramatic self-destructing tape introducing the week’s impossible mission to IM Forces leader Jim Phelps. Following the tense theme song by Lalo Shiffrin, the next few minutes … Continue reading

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Dem Bums

After losing by -2.8 million votes, Dems have to do better Once again readers of the New York Times were treated to sage analysis about how the Democrats are a pubic hair away from complete irrelevance. In today’s Sunday Review … Continue reading

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F is for Ford

Detroit automakers hate government regulations and will deploy armies of lobbyists to get their way in Washington. And they routinely win. The argument goes like this: auto industry experts at such companies as GM, Chrysler and Ford know way more … Continue reading

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Solved: The Mystery of the Dead (W)Ailes

Last week, the unidentified rotting corpse of a 50-foot-long corpulent creature washed up on a beach in Indonesia. Confused locals took photographs with their smartphones that went around the world of the immense blob of slimy, smelly flesh. Noxious decomposition … Continue reading

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The AHCA Turns into an ACHE

Paul Ryan explains what Congress’s new toilet paper will be made of. A man rolls into an emergency room with a large but routine gash on his leg. Expecting to have his wound stitched up, he’s instead told that the … Continue reading

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Strap Gail Collins to the Roof

Gail Collins, one of the lamer op-ed columnists for the New York Times wrote a piece the other day about Mitt Romney’s embarrassing dinner with Trump in which the former Governor and presidential candidate sucked up to the orange man … Continue reading

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Recount Blues for the Orange Man

Are you ready for more of this? Jill Stein and her Green group want to force a recount of the votes cast in Wisconsin, Michigan and maybe Pennsylvania where the gap separating Clinton and Trump is miniscule. And after a … Continue reading

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With Voters Like These…

Trump in his own sassy words. No matter what happens tomorrow, Trump will at least get votes from these schnooks: “Little Marco” Rubio who once said, “we have a frontrunner, in my party, who has fed into language that basically … Continue reading

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Error on Terror

Warning! Probably not terror! Eerily similar to the terrorist incident during the Boston Marathon in 2013, a bomb hidden in a garbage can along the route of a 5K foot race in Seaside Park, NJ exploded – thankfully without injuring … Continue reading

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Cut That Man a Check

Mass murderer Omar Mateen when he was only just a douchebag The moment the stock market opened on the Monday after this past weekend’s horrific mass shooting in Orlando, the share prices of prominent arms makers – Ruger, Smith & … Continue reading

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Jaw-Dropping Clickbait

Ever since content aggregators on the web began delivering links to original news reported and written by professional outlets for free, journalists and publishers have wrung their hands over the dim future of traditional newspapers. Subscribers have cancelled out, local … Continue reading

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RIP George Kennedy

Burly George Kennedy, winner of the 1968 Academy Award for Best Supporting Actor in the always-fresh “Cool Hand Luke,” died the other day at age 91. Kennedy was one of those rare supporting character actors whose both face and name … Continue reading

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Scalia Ducks Out

During a hunting expedition in Texas this week Antonin Scalia croaked at age 79, leaving a big hole in the Supreme Court. Depending on your point of view, Scalia was either a beacon of judicial brilliance or a piece of … Continue reading

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