The Cabinet of Dr. Demento

PuckerTrump ran a cabinet meeting in front of the press and in a fashion usually associated with such illustrious narcissists as Kim Jong-Un and Saddam Hussein, went around the room and extracted statements of praise and fealty from the pitiful underlings. While each cabinet member sought to out-suck the previous sycophant, Trump sat there with an evil grin – relishing the embarrassment he was putting his staff through.

The spectacle simply added new reaffirmation that Trump is a sick fuck. He had the nerve to spout such bullshit as:

  • “Never has there been a president, with few exceptions who has passed more legislation, done more things.” The Republican controlled Congress hasn’t passed a single piece of major legislation.
  • The wonderfulness of his plan for the “single biggest tax cut in American history.” He has not proposed a plan; Congress ain’t working on one.
  • Taking credit for an economy that generated 1.1 million jobs in the past seven months, noting “No one would have believed it.” In the previous seven months, the economy generated 1.3 million jobs – also unbelievable, I suppose.

Observers continue to debate whether Sir Orange is a liar or hopelessly deluded. Does it really matter which?

Knowing that most people could not watch the entire cabinet charade without throwing up along the way, we at Major Terata have compiled the best of the worst ass-kissing statements and helpfully rated them on the “pile of shit” meter. You’re welcome.

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