Pencey the Puppet

Trump performs his ventriloquist act with Pencey the Puppet

On orders from his marionette-master Trump, Vice Puppet Mike Pence briefly attended last Sunday’s NFL game between Indianapolis Colts and The SF 49ers – just long enough to be photographed standing for the national anthem accompanied by his doting wife before bolting to the next appointment on his busy calendar.

Clearly, it was pandering-patriot Trump who set the stage for the dramatic exeunt of Veep and Mrs. Veep.


Pencey the Puppet was ordered to leave the game if any player on the field deigned to kneel during the playing of the anthem – an absolute guarantee given the oft-stated commitment of some players to do just that.

Sure enough a few 49ers knelt, allowing Pencey to head for the exits as planned. The Veep had flown from Las Vegas to Indianapolis just to perform a 5 minute stunt, then headed back West to LA. He even had a smug tweet pre-loaded to post 30 seconds after he left to board Air Force 2.


Wouldn’t it have been great, though, had no player taken a knee just to fuck over Pencey the Puppet’s schedule. Imagine the angst on the faces of Pencey’s handlers who were charged with getting him off to LA, knowing that he now had to sit through the entire game – plus OT!

I’m sure every one of Pencey’s flaks would have scrambled down to the sidelines begging just one “brother” to defile the flag.

Flak: “C’mon Eric Reid, do it for the Vice President! Take a knee for your country!”
Reid: “This is what systemic oppression looks like.”
Flak: “Yeah, but Mr. Pence has a big meeting in LA. Can’t you disrespect the anthem – just this once?”
Reid” “Why do they play that fucking song at football games anyway? I don’t hear it before they tee off at the Masters.”
Flak: “It’s a great song. Y’know, Land of the free, home of the brave…“
Reid: “Don’t forget the other part– ‘No refuge could save the hireling and slave from the terror of flight or the gloom of the grave.’”
Flak: “Good point.”

A Bridge too Far


New York State Controller Thomas DiNapoli issued a report today indicating that the state needs $27 billion to repair hundreds of aging, locally owned bridges.

No doubt the rest of the country is in similar straits.

Only one thing to do: spend billions on infrastructure … in the form of a medieval style wall from the Gulf of Mexico to the Pacific Ocean. That way we can keep illegals from crossing the Rio Grande, and New Yorkers from crossing the Susquehanna.

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