Seven Words You Can’t Say at the CDC

CDC

Shit, piss, fuck, cunt, cocksucker, motherfucker and tits.

Those are the seven words that could not be spoken on television as we learned in a skit by the late comedian George Carlin on his “Class Clown” opus – although he was riffing on censorship at a time when TV consisted of three networks broadcasting over public airwaves.

Now, what at first appeared to be a spoof by The Onion or SNL has been reliably reported as fact: the Centers for Disease Control has actually articulated their own set of seven taboo words that cannot be used by their employees in reports, websites and other communications. The offending list: vulnerable, entitlement, diversity, transgender, fetus, evidence-based and science-based.

That the CDC would do such a thing – and reveal exactly seven words, thus inviting scornful comparison to Carlin’s rant – proves their bureaucratic handlers suffer from some form of brain-eating parasite that remains undiscovered due to budget cuts at the agency.

The CDC offered no approved alternatives for the words except for “evidence-based and science-based “ which should be replace with the Orwellian phrase “CDC bases its recommendations on science in consideration with community standards and wishes.” Presumably in a community that believes dunking can identify who among them is a witch, the CDC will develop recommendations on proper dunking methods and offer remedies for controlling the disease of witchcraft.

It’s sad to watch the rapid decimation of the country’s once-admired science departments like CDC, EPA and DOE as they go down the shitter because ignorant political hacks and ideologues intrude where they don’t belong. Clearly dispatching “vulnerable, entitlement, diversity and transgender” from the lexicon is pure politics – the kind that encourages divisive tribalism and seeks to mollify the angst of tribe members who fear and loathe the unfortunate (“vulnerable”), the poor (“entitlement”), non-whites (“diversity”) and anyone who can’t be slotted solidly into the heterosexual camp (“transgender”).

As for “fetus”? I always hated that word myself. Sounds like something from another planet. Perhaps the CDC can recommend a replacement word, say “miniature-person-who-prefers-to-live-in-a-water-filled-sac.”

Time for a Remedial Class in Democracy

snatchtrump

Orrin “the Snatch” Hatch has been Utah’s senator since 1976 making him the longest serving Republican in U.S. history. The Snatch is also the current President pro tem of the Senate – the second highest ranking official in the august body. All of which would make you expect Orrin to be well-versed in the workings of American democracy. One who clearly understands and defends the fundamental separation of powers which places the executive, legislative and judicial branches on equal footings.

The other day when asked to comment on another of Trump’s oddball tweets, Orrin Snatch came to his Orangeness’s defense: “I’ll say this for you. He’s been one of the best presidents I’ve served under.”

“Served under?” Does Orrin see himself as Richard Rich to Trump’s corpulent Henry VIII – a venal supplicant who will do his master’s bidding at the urging of a heavy axe?

C’mon, Orrin. We all know there’s something strange in the water in Utah, but can’t you at least pretend to be a worthy of the title of President pro tem – whatever that is.

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