Stroke the Orange Ego – Win a Prize

horsebackIf Trump meets up with Kim Jong-Un – and that’s a big “if” despite Trump’s giddy announcement the other day that he’d do just that – expect the roly-poly North Korean dictator to play the Orange Man with a carefully concocted brew of conspicuous compliments, over-the-top ceremony, expensive gifts, and maybe even an allusion to a future Trump Tower Pyong-Yang.

There’s no way feeble narcissist Trump could resist the pomp and circumstance. Left to his own devices, Trump would pull out the troops from Seoul, give KJU (yes, people now refer to Mr. Un by his initials) a lifetime membership to Mar-a-Lago, and arrange a three-way with Stormy Daniels and his choice of Kellyanne Conway, Sarah Huckabee Sanders or someone named Tiffany.

And he’d do all those things in exchange for a commitment written in pencil to denuclearize someday, or a declaration that Trump the bestest president in all of history (way better than that Kenyan Obama) – whichever comes first.

Consider what Trump said about Putin during an interview with Bill O’Reilly in April 2016: “I think he said some really nice things. He called me a genius. He said Trump’s a genius. Okay. So, you know, that’s nice.” In return for the disputed “genius” comment Trump has turned a complete blind eye to Russia’s demonstrated affronts to U.S. and European democratic institutions, and their flagrant incursions into neighboring countries.

Philippines president and self-confessed murderer Rodrigo Duterte said in a speech, “Trump is a realist, a pragmatic thinker,” adding “Trump wouldn’t become a billionaire if he were stupid.” Such asslicking has its benefits. Instead of marginalizing Duterte for his thuggish behavior and moronic policies, Trump praises the dictator for his fine work on dealing with the country’s drug problem (by gunning down anyone who might be a drug dealer or user.)

Egypt’s hard-hearted leader Abdel Fattah el-Sisi with appropriate obsequiousness proclaimed this about Trump, “Since we met last September, I have had a deep appreciation and admiration of your unique personality.” Trump paid it right back. “I just want to let everybody know, in case there was any doubt, that we are very much behind president el-Sisi. He has done a fantastic job in a very difficult situation. We are very much behind Egypt, and the people of Egypt.” (Sidebar; Trump also slobbered over el-Sisi’s shoes.)

Other world leaders who have traded no-cost ego-stroking for valuable concessions from Orange-man include Recep Erdogan of Turkey, Chinese president-for-life Xi Jinping, Benjamin Netanyahu of Israel, Mohammed bin Salman of Saudi Arabia.

In reality, what little competent diplomatic and military staff remains will do whatever they can to dissuade Trump from meeting KJU because they know Trump will fold like a cheap card table. They know that all Little Rocket Man has to do to get Trump off his back AND keep his nukes is hold his nose and stroke Trump’s furry pate.

No doubt the White House comms team has already fabricated stories to spring on the press explaining away Trump’s eagerness to meet KJU. Maybe they can weave in the Stormy Daniels affair somehow.

Celebrities-turned-Politicians

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We at Major Terata do not believe Cynthia Nixon has the right experience to become the governor of New York. The former co-star of “Sex and the City” is probably not even qualified to be the mayor of Callicoon, NY. Likewise we are not convinced Oprah Winfrey would make a good POTUS (although we’ve come to know that “good” is a very fluid attribute.) These observations put us in the camp of the New York Post’s Maureen Callahan who penned an opinion piece titled “When we will get over celebrity politicians like Oprah and Cynthia Nixon?”

The gist of her column is that untested, unqualified left-wing celebs have a lot of nerve deigning to believe they deserve to jump into top level political jobs.

Oddly, Maureen makes only a passing mention of the ultimate, unqualified celebrity hack who aspired to and won top office. And she had nothing to say about right-wing entertainers who have gone directly from the movies or music studios into politics – Clint Eastwood, Sonny Bono, Schwarzenegger – or have toyed around with the idea – Kid Rock, Ted Nugent, Antonio Sabato.

Callahan also picks on Chelsea Clinton, even though the former first daughter hasn’t made any moves to compete for an elected position. Yet she overlooks the political aspirations of another first daughter, Ivanka Trump.

Come on, Maureen, you started out so well only to fall into the NY Post hypocrisy hole.

Get Out … of TD Ameritrade

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If you’re a black man and you meet this dude from the TD Ameritrade TV commercial, run away! – or your brain will be harvested for insertion into the cranium of an old, white hedge fund manager whose portfolio hasn’t beaten the S&P 500 for five straight years.

End note: Best synopsis yet for Oscar-winning film “The Shape of Water”

Grinding Nemo.

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