Trump Gets a Pass This Week

trump bed
OK – We can’t let a blog go by without some level of Trump insult

Trump served up a heap of material this week for those commentators who enjoy skewering his Orange-tinted foolishness. One example: his repetitive lie about a non-existent law (supposedly levied by the Democrats, of course, who they alone can repeal it, but won’t cuz they hate America) that is forcing border agents to separate children from their illegal immigrant parents.

Want another? How about his remarks following the incarceration of Paul Manafort? Trump barely knows him. The dude had really nothing to do with Trump’s campaign and hung around for a mere 49 days, according to Trump – except that it is falling-off-a-log simple to prove Manafort spent 144 days on the campaign, and for much of that time he was the fucking chairman.

OK, one more. Trump claimed during an interview with Fox that many parents of missing Korean War vets lobbied him to intervene with NK to repatriate the remains of the fallen warriors.

My grandmother born in 1905 was the mother of a Korean War veteran. My uncle who died several years ago would have been 90 now, and his mother would have been 113 had she not succumbed in 1977. Still, I’m sure many men and women in their hundred-and-teens have petitioned Trump for action.

No matter. We at Major Terata will let others jerk off to yet another pile of Trump road apples. This week we opine on some topics where we cut Trump a break. After all, any wag who pummels a subject 100 percent of the time without recognizing the occasional blip that contravenes the narrative cannot expect to receive complete and total adoration from readership loyal and otherwise.

Let’s start with Mark Sanford, the sleazy Congressman from South Carolina who was facing a primary opponent in his bid for re-election this year. Some may recall Sanford as the guy who called for Bill Clinton to resign over a sex scandal, but could not bring himself do the same when his affair with an Argentinean woman was revealed.

Mark Sanford
Sanford agonistes

Although the hard-right, Sanford – a card-carrying member of the Freedom Cockus – is the type of supplicant you’d expect Trump to support whole-heartedly, in fact Sanford has become a pariah in Trumpland for having the temerity to level some minor criticism of his president. For such heresy Trump tweet-slammed Sanford at the 11th hour of the primary thus throwing the race to his underdog opponent Kate Arrington who exclaimed this scary observation at her victory rally: “We are the party of President Donald J. Trump.” Uh oh.

Sanford is now playing the weepy victim calling Trumpism a “cancerous growth” on the Republican Party. Dude, look in the mirror. You’re a piece of shit.

Trump ran Sanford out of Congress for the wrong reasons – but who cares. We’re glad that cretin finally got a hot poker up his cracker ass.

It’s surprising no one has yet dubbed it SaluteGate.

During the meet-n-greet in Singapore, Trump worked a line of North Korean potentates. When he came to a ribbon-festooned general who may have committed war crimes, Trump saluted him. Kim Jong-un looked on approvingly. Ouch.

salute

The spectacle of the United States Commander-in-Chief saluting a military officer of a nation with which America is still technically at war caused many in the punditry biz to set their hair on fire.

“I’m not trying to be gratuitous or unfair but isn’t saluting a General from an enemy military sort of a big deal?” tweeted Democrat Senator from Hawaii Brian Schatz. Another Dem Senator, Chris Van Hollen of Maryland noted, “To no one’s surprise, North Korea used our President for their propaganda campaign.”

Despite the negative reviews from the opposition, let’s cut Mr. Bone Spurs a break. Trump appears in a high-stakes summit and is obliged to meet members of the other side. Trump extends his hand to the general and the general instead salutes. What to do? (If you’re one of the 90+ percent of Americans like Trump who never served, you’re not allowed to look up the official military directive on Google.)

Do you stand there with your hand extended? What if the general holds the salute position? Do you stand there like an asshole, eventually putting your hand in your pocket? Do you ignore the guy and move down the line, leaving Mr. Big Hat standing like a commemorative statue from the Korean War?

I think most people in that position would return the salute. It seems appropriate and it lets you move on to the table of hors d’oeuvres. Cut Trump slack. It’s not the end of the world. That’s coming next month.

comey fingers
What has two fingers and fucks over elections? This Guy!!

The FBI Inspector General issued a 500+ page report following their investigation about the bureau’s activities during the 2016 presidential campaign (no, it did not “exonerate” Trump regarding Russian collusion.) As expected, the report killed James Comey – and we don’t care. Although the very tall Comey did the talk show scene after he was fired and tried to pre-empt opprobrium, he remains a pariah to almost everyone. Lefties hate him for shirking established norms prohibiting announcements about ongoing investigations. The guy was constantly blabbing about Hillary Clinton’s emails while he stayed mum about the FBI’s investigations of Trump’s chicanery. (Sidebar: Comey investigated Hillary Clinton for using a private email server while he used a private email server.)

Righties hate him for “disloyalty” to Emperor Trump, a capital offense. No doubt Trump has requested a brief on how his new butt-boy “Lil Rocket Man” might handle such insubordination.
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Either way, Comey was an incompetent asshole and Trump was correct in firing him – only he should have done it on day one of his presidency when Dems and Reps would have concurred. Instead, he blew it by shit-canning the man in the midst of the “Rusher thing.”

Now, all bets are off – until we enter “Celebrity Pardon Season.”

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