The Brain Attached to the Mouth

gibberish

In grade school, if you mentioned that you play the organ, you could expect to be queried on whether you also toot the skin flute. It’s just that way in grade school.

I hearkened back to those dismal days and laughed heartily when I heard Trump claim at a rally in Montana: “I don’t have a guitar or an organ. No organ.” Really – no organ? Just a prosthesis, perhaps?

As everyone knows, Trump gives bad speech. His rallies, where he sounds more like Jimmy Joe Jeeter than the president of the United States, feature the faithful hordes in MAGA gear who hang on his every word salad.

This block of words uttered from the puckered mouth of Trump in Montana had almost certainly been translated from Mongolian to Danish to Esperanto back to Mongolian then to English. Either that, or it’s the output of a seriously mis-wired brain. See if you can follow the path from Elton John to important brains while going through hockey and basketball.

“I have broken more Elton John records, he seems to have a lot of records. And I, by the way, I don’t have a musical instrument. I don’t have a guitar or an organ. No organ. Elton has an organ. And lots of other people helping. No we’ve broken a lot of records. We’ve broken virtually every record. Because you know, look I only need this space. They need much more room. For basketball, for hockey and all of the sports, they need a lot of room. We don’t need it. We have people in that space. So we break all of these records. Really we do it without like, the musical instruments. This is the only musical: the mouth. And hopefully the brain attached to the mouth. Right? The brain, more important than the mouth, is the brain. The brain is much more important.”

Get all of that?

I pity the translators who had to turn Trump hash into Korean during the Kim Jong-Un love-fest in Singapore.

TRUMP: I have broken more Elton John records, he seems to have a lot of records. And I, by the way, I don’t have a musical instrument. I don’t have a guitar or an organ. No organ.

TRANSLATOR (In Korean): Dotard says he stomped on the homosexual who wrote “Rocket Man.” He also admits – as our DPRK intelligence concluded – that he has no penis.

KIM: What an asshole.

TRANSLATOR (In English): Supreme Leader Kim wants you to stop playing war games with the South.

TRUMP: Sure thing. (Points to his head) The brain, more important than the mouth, is the brain.

TRANSLATOR (In Korean): Dotard seems to be quoting the Scarecrow from the “Wizard of Oz.”

KIM: Shit, I would have expected him to quote Toto.

TRANSLATOR (In English): Supreme Leader Kim wants you to lift sanctions.

TRUMP: We’ll see what happens. (Points to his mouth) This is the only musical: the mouth.

TRANSLATOR (In Korean): Dotard asked if you will insert organ into his mouth.

KIM: Time to go.

TripAdvisor circa 1941

Gudrun

Gudrun Burwitz, the daughter of Heinrich Himmler, died the other day at age 88. As the chief Nazi architect of the “Final Solution” to the Jewish problem, Himmler treated his young daughter at the time to visits to concentration camps. One such visit in 1941 included Dachau where 30,000 prisoners were put to death.

Little Gudrun who was about 11 years old wrote in her diary: “We saw everything we could. We saw the gardening work. We saw the pear trees. We saw all the pictures painted by the prisoners. Marvelous. And afterward we had a lot to eat. It was very nice.”

No doubt the guests at Dachau agreed wholeheartedly.

One can only wonder, however, what she might have written had TripAdvisor existed at the time.

“The rooms are tiny – not going to lie – but all have a window that opens with dark shutters to block out the sun. We saw a room with a bunk bed – each room has a very spacious latrine that is cleaned out at least once a year. The heating unit is strong and works great, as you can tell from the never-ending plumes of smoke from the stack. The best part is the overhead shower. WOW – a deluge! I give it five bent crosses!”

dachau-bunks
Bunkbeds at the W Hotel in Dachau

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