Trump’s War on Coal

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He rubs it on his penis, too

Continuing on his “god”-given mission to undo whatever Obama had done before him, Trump the other day put a stake in the moribund Clean Power Plan which called for reductions in power-plant’s usage of coal as a fuel. If the Clean Power Plan had taken effect, coal generation would have dropped 29 percent below today’s levels. Trump can’t allow such an atrocity to occur so he’s directed the implementation of the “Affordable Clean Energy” rule which gives states lots of leeway to decide to what extent they want to pollute their neighbors.

It’s all about halting the “War on Coal” – say “amen.”

But looking at the details, we find the EPA estimates that under Trump’s Affordable Clean Energy plan coal-fired electricity will still decline by roughly 20 percent by 2030. Not that different from the results of an Obama-led war. The total amount of coal mined for electricity would drop by one-third, compared with levels that are already the lowest in decades.

In summary, despite the bloviation, Trump is actually continuing Obama’s War on Coal. Not only are Trumpists in Kentucky getting short shrift on promises to boost coal, they’re getting boned on lost bourbon sales thanks to Orange Man’s asinine tariffs.

Assuming Trump is serious about reviving the fuel of the Middle Ages, when will he force Detroit automakers to produce coal-fired cars? When will he direct the FDA to declare coal as a food group?

Why won’t he promote the use of coal for blackface in the theater so more whites can get jobs playing roles that would otherwise go unfairly to Denzel Washington?

The powerful “black lung” voting bloc demands action!

Oblivious to the Digital Age

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NY Representative Chris Collins got a text about the imminent demise of a company in which he was heavily invested – and he went on to commit securities fraud in apparent ignorance of how cell phones work. He blabbed about the coming crash of the company’s stock – unknown to the public – to relatives and friends, and was quickly scooped up by the SEC for insider trading.

Another hot-shot Republican Congressman, Duncan Hunter of California and his wife just pleaded not guilty to misusing campaign funds. Again, the couple seemed to be ignorant of the tools of the digital age because they spent $250K of campaign funds on international travel, groceries, clothing and even an airline ticket for their fucking pet rabbit – the kinds of transactions that are stored forever in the catacombs of American Express and MasterCard. (And now, manly Duncan is tossing the blame on his wife who supposedly handled all the finances.)

But the best of the worst has to be Melissa Howard, conservative Republican candidate for the Florida House, who concocted the most-easily debunked claim of all: that she’d earned a college degree that she actually hadn’t. Howard touted her degree from Miami University in Ohio (yeah – there’s a university called “Miami” in Ohio, just like there’s a place called “Jersey Shore” in the middle of Pennsylvania.)

Perhaps Melissa thought no one would ever take the time to click twice to discover the real story: that her 1996 graduation was a fake. When first faced with the allegation, Melissa – like the good little Trumper she is – called it all “fake news.” Her campaign even went so far as to shit on her opponent Tommy Gregory, saying, “There’s nothing he won’t do or say to hurt Melissa or her reputation within the community. It’s shameful.”

Like shoveling against the tide, Melissa pressed on by posting as “proof” a proud photo of herself sitting next to the framed diploma. Why she didn’t also post the photo of her accepting the Nobel Prize is beyond me.

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Fed up with the shenanigans, the authorities at Miami University went into their digital archives and rendered the verdict: they never conferred a degree upon Melissa Howard.

You might say it’s shameful.

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