This Week in Boners

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It never ceases to amaze how often highly-paid, so-called professionals screw the pooch. Here is a brief synopsis of just some of the boners pulled this past week.

The Oh, Really? Factor

Fox News stooge and formerly bow-tied dweeb Tucker Carlson recently hosted a Swedish filmmaker who, as part of his movie “Stockholm Syndrome” had interviewed a couple Swedish cops about rising crime in the country that brought us Anita Ekberg, Ingrid Bergman, Absolut Vodka, and Abba. The gist of Carlson’s interview with Ami Horowitz was that thanks to Sweden’s policy of unfettered immigration of less-blonde people rampant terrorism had infiltrated the fair country. But the cops Horowitz interviewed took umbrage of having their comments taken out of context. One of them protested, “It was supposed to be about crime in high risk areas. Areas with high crime rates. There wasn’t any focus on migration or immigration. We don’t stand behind it. It shocked us. This is bad journalism.”

Such bad journalism that Trump included it in his speech at an ego-caressing rally in Florida.

Immediately afterwards, Trump’s observation was challenged by Swedish government leaders as uninformed cornpone. On command, partisans from both sides began their appointed routes either to vilify the Orange man or defend him to the death. In the latter category was Bill O’Reilly who just couldn’t wait to come to Trump’s defense; so motivated to prove Trump right that he failed to do a smidgen of due diligence. O’Reilly happily gave lucrative airtime to one Nils Bildt who, as a so-called Swedish Defense and National Security Advisor, corroborated all the fairy tales.

swedish

Sure enough though, within moments of Bildt’s 15 minutes of infamy, the Swedes came forward once again with something called “reality” and denied that Bildt was ever an advisor to their Defense and/or National Security apparatus. Proving he’s Fox-worthy, Bildt placed the blame on O’Reilly and team for the calamity, claiming he was just a U.S. based analyst and had nothing to do with being called a Swedish operative.

The show’s not called the Oh, Really? Factor for nothing.

Anti-Leak Meeting is Leaked

Trump is pissed that highly sensitive national security type shit is leaking out of from his cadre of lieutenants. That the material being leaked is almost universally negative about the inside operations of his nascent administration is the primary cause for Trump’s irritation; if the leakage was less anal – say a release about how Trump beat Putin in an arm-wrestling match – you can bet Mr. Orange would have no complaints. Don’t forget, Trump was a master of planting exaggerated stories about his love life and business dealings when he trolled the celebrity soirees of Manhattan’s night life.

Nevertheless, leaks from within the White House are no laughing matter. Given that much of the activity described in leaks passed through the press office, Press Secretary Sean Spicer took it upon himself to ferret out potentially nefarious activity perpetrated by his underlings.

He called and all-hands meeting where he confiscated everyone’s personal devices to be examined for evidence of misbehavior. When the inquisition was over, Spicer forbade everyone from mentioning that it ever took place.

Within minutes the existence of Spicy’s anti-leak meeting was leaked. So much for well-tuned machinery.

Is DeVos plural for Devo?

You’d think that after coddled billionaire Betsy DeVos secured the position of Education Secretary by the absolute narrowest of margins she might make at least a token effort to redeem herself with a demonstration that she had a clue. But no.

As part of a gathering in the White House of leaders of historically black colleges and universities, poor Betsy made these remarks:

A key priority for this administration is to help develop opportunities for communities that are often the most underserved. Rather than focus solely on funding, we must be willing to make the tangible, structural reforms that will allow students to reach their full potential. Historically Black Colleges and Universities (HBCUs) have done this since their founding. They started from the fact that there were too many students in America who did not have equal access to education. They saw that the system wasn’t working, that there was an absence of opportunity, so they took it upon themselves to provide the solution. HBCUs are real pioneers when it comes to school choice.

It’s beyond refute that DeVos is smitten with the promise of privatization of education (fondly known as “school choice”). She longs for the day when all public schools in America collapse to be replaced at taxpayer expense by Catholic schools run by the likes of Father Feely and Sister Mary Torquemada.

But to suggest that blacks who established their own institutes of higher learning because they were barred from attending whites-only colleges is somehow an illustration of school choice is just fucking addled. I suppose Negro-only drinking fountains were a form of beverage choice back in the good ole 1950s.

Give Betsy time. Perhaps she thought she had been appointed to head of the Department of Ejukashun.

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Rumors Greatly Exaggerated

One of my favorite segments of the often dreary Oscars ceremony is the “In Memoriam” tribute to key figures – actors, directors, producers, editors, screenwriters – who have succumbed in the past year. It’s the only part of the ceremony that looks back at the movies’ rich heritage.

Not everyone cited is a household name which is a reminder that movies are more than what appears on the silver screen (or a 3.5 inch LCD).

Such is the case of Janet Patterson, a costume and production designer specializing in period costume from the 19th century, and a four-time Oscar nominee. No doubt her most famous movie involvement was with “The Piano” starring Holly Hunter and Harvey Keitel. The Academy deemed Patterson worthy of a spot in the “In Memoriam” but not her likeness – for which they mistakenly substituted in that of Jan Chapman, a producer friend of Patterson’s who also worked on “The Piano.”

Most of the time the biggest controversy surrounding the “In Memoriam” is when someone connected to Hollywood croaked but didn’t make the cut. Examples include Abe Vigoda, Dennis Farina, Jonathan Winters and Adam Sandler’s career. This year however someone who didn’t croak made the cut – and for that we witnessed the biggest boner of this year’s Oscars!

Well, maybe not.

PwC heading to Ca Ca Land

For more than 80 years, PwC has been the sole accounting firm to handle the secret Academy Award voting, including the management of the dozens of sealed envelopes that hold the names of winners across all the categories. That means they’ve overseen the distribution of envelopes probably a couple thousand times without incident. Face it – although the job of handing envelopes to the stars who present the awards appears to be glamorous, it really is a job for monkeys. You take an envelope from the briefcase and give it to the famous dude in a tux. The whole process could be replaced by one of those machines that spits out a ticket before you drive into the parking garage.

Still, there is a lot of heritage at the stodgy Academy that would seem to rule out automation – and given PwC’s lengthy, spotless stewardship, there was never a reason to veer from the proven process. Until this past Sunday when a PwC partner named Brian Cullinan who was goofing off near the end of the show handed the wrong card to Warren Beatty who along with Faye Dunaway strode out in front of a billion people and announced “La La Land” as the Best Picture winner, when in fact “Moonlight” had taken the honor. Cullinan tweeted a picture of Emma Stone who had just won Best Actress for her role in “La La Land” – and apparently in this moment of distraction failed to move the Best Actress card to the dead pile, setting up perhaps the biggest gaffe in Oscars history, as well as a massive embarrassment for PwC who may lose the contract with the Academy, or at least suffer heavily in future contract negotiations. (Sidebar: Like many accounting firms that merged over the years, PwC was once called PriceWaterhouseCoopers, but from this point forward will be known as ProducedWrongCard.)

It’s a wonder flummoxed Warren Beatty didn’t reprise his role as Clyde Barrow and mow down all the PwC jerks with a Tommy gun.

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The host for the evening’s festivities, Jimmy Kimmel said, “This is very unfortunate what happened. Let’s remember, it’s just an awards show.” I’m sure all the Academy brass appreciated that sentiment. Just an awards show? That’s like telling a Catholic that the Resurrection was just a magic trick.

After the biggest boner in Oscars history, don’t be surprised if the Academy ditches PwC. Maybe they can get the guy who did such marvelous work for Bernie Madoff.

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Trumpus Interruptus

Pffft

All-Trump-all-the-time is beginning to wear thin. Major Terata will lay off the Orange man and the gaseous cloud that envelops his fantasy world for awhile. We’ll give him leave so he can climb aboard Marine One and pursue new elixirs for whatever malady has impaired his follicles. (Damn, Trump looks old. He looks even worse than William Henry Harrison did after his first month in office.)

New blogs coming soon. Culture Justly Scrutinized.

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Forget Fact-Checking; Just Call “Bullshit”

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Trump at CPAC in front of streamlined Constitution. Now with 66% fewer amendments!

Thanks to a last-minute invitation from a group of gay Republicans, Trump snagged a speaking slot at the 2011 gathering of the Conservative Political Action Conference where he was met with a sprinkling of applause, derisive laughter and boos. The CPAC organizers had not wanted the Orange man on their hallowed stage for fear he would use the platform for rank self-promotion. Now that rank self-promoter is president.

Trump again delivered a speech this week to the CPAC assembly consisting of his usual bluster, hyperbole, hypocrisy and disdain for the media which he labels “fake” and “phony.” Almost immediately, the “failing” New York Times responded with a piece devoted to the pronouncements that fell out of Trump’s mouth headlined “Fact Check: Trump Blasts ‘Fake News’ and Repeats Inaccurate Claims at CPAC.” Among the topics he smudged: polls, cost of wars, border security, Obamacare, terrorism in Sweden (?) and U.S. military strength. Of the military, retired warrior Trump said, “we’re very depleted, very, very depleted.” That’s a strange claim to make given that America spends more on Defense than the next eight countries combined. Besides, hasn’t Trump consistently complained that America is carrying too much of the world’s security burden already? What’s the point of spending billions to undo the depletion if we’re no longer going to police the world? Prepare for invasion by Trinidad AND Tobago?

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Future commander-in-chief Trump fresh off the battlefield with two POWs he captured at Cam Rahn Bay.

Anyway, following the publication of the fact-check piece, the Times along with CNN, the LA Times, Politico and Buzzfeed was barred from participating in an informal press conference led by Sean Spicer. Those allowed to attend included Fox News, Breitbart, Washington Times , CBS, NBC, ABC, the Wall Street Journal, and Bloomberg. Time and AP were also invited but declined to participate in protest over the black-balling of fellow journalists. (Sidebar: It’s rich that Trump has such a hard-on for CNN which played so prominent a role in his successful run for the presidency by affording him millions of dollars worth of free publicity by covering every one of his meaningless rallies as though they were actually newsworthy.)

Pity the “failing” New York Times – they take on the never-ending, thankless job of exposing Trump’s prevarications, and in return get the snub by a lightweight like Spicy Spicer. It’s doubly troubling when, instead of devoting hours of research to debunking BS, all the Times has to do is post this clip after every Trump speech:

Forget J. Edgar at Your Peril

FBI-director-J-Edgar-Hoov-007

Trump also has a hard-on for the FBI which he claims is a leaky sieve of insider information about the administration’s questionable behavior. He’s ordering an investigation of the investigators which smacks of Nixonian paranoia, and is bound to rile up the gumshoes who have enormous resources to fuck up peoples’ lives if so provoked.

Just because vindictive J. Edgar Hoover finally died decades ago doesn’t mean the FBI no longer has the capability to unearth dirt on anyone it feels like. And with a character like thrice-married, multi-bankrupted Trump who undoubtedly has several designer closets full of skeletons, it should take the FBI all of an afternoon to assemble a dossier of devastation to be “misplaced” in a “failing” newspaper’s mail slot.

Push too hard, Donald, and your little leaks could become the gash that sinks HMS Trumptanic.

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No Reach-Around from CPAC for Milo

miloConservative, gay rabble-rouser Milo Yiannopoulos (nee. Hanrahan) was thwarted recently from making a speech at U.C. Berkeley by rowdy students who didn’t appreciate giving the flaming flame-thrower a platform to disgorge what they considered hate speech. Based on Yiannopoulos’ past, the students’ opprobrium for him was understandable – although one could agree that shutting down the speech played into the hands of right-wingers who love to bash weak-kneed liberals over their thin and delicate skins. Still, it’s fair to say that anyone afforded the opportunity to address a broad audience on a noted college campus should earn the right by having something useful to say – and Milo is not that person. The phony, provocative bullshit he’s produced at Breitbart News would seem clearly disqualifying. Some observations from the big Y:

  • The solution to online ‘harassment’ is simple: Women should log off
  • Birth control makes women unattractive and crazy
  • Hoist it high and proud: The Confederate flag proclaims a glorious heritage
  • Would you rather your child had feminism or cancer?
  • There’s no hiring bias against women in tech, they just suck at interviews

My guess is that Yiannopoulos doesn’t actually believe any of this shit – he just wants to stick out in an evermore bizarre world of online cretins. Sort of like a less-funny, right-wing version of The Onion. He more or less confirmed this in his recent appearance on Bill Maher’s show.

Anyway, back to the U.C. Berkeley episode: after Yiannopoulos decided it better to retreat from the angry college students, Trump felt naturally compelled to tweet out a dollop of ignorance. Tweeteth the Orange Man: If U.C. Berkeley does not allow free speech and practices violence on innocent people with a different point of view – NO FEDERAL FUNDS? Clearly the so-called president strongly supports freedom of speech, if not the function of the government’s appropriation and disbursement laws.

Then just the other day, CPAC, another bastion of liberalism, withdrew its invitation for Milo to speak at their upcoming convention. Apparently, after it was brought to CPAC’s attention that Yiannopoulos had espoused the benefits to young boys for having gay sex with older men, the Conservative Political Action Conference got cold feet. Here’s some of the spicy banter that turned the stomachs at CPAC:

Milo: In the homosexual world, particularly, some of those relationships between younger boys and older men — the sort of ‘coming of age’ relationship — those relationships in which those older men help those young boys discover who they are and give them security and safety and provide them with love and a reliable, sort of rock, where they can’t speak to their parents.

Interviewer: It sounds like Catholic priest molestation to me.

Milo: But you know what? I’m grateful for Father Michael. I wouldn’t give nearly such good head if it wasn’t for him.

And so now the world awaits a tweet from the world’s greatest defender of free speech – and nary a chirp. Most likely, Trump is too busy investigating the threats building among reindeer-herders plotting terror in Sweden.

Cueball meets the Rug

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End note: the Wonders of AI

I recently purchased a piece of luggage on eBay and was advised of some related purchases I might wish to make, including this one right at the top.

peepee

C’mon, eBay – AI means “artificial intelligence”, not “ignorance.”

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Puzzed!

puzzedAfter Ronald Reagan nominated Robert Bork for a seat on the Supreme Court, Democrats in the Senate went after the scraggly-bearded Duck Dynasty judge with a vengeance. Having been one of Richard Nixon’s loyal automatons during the Watergate scandal, Bork made plenty of enemies. The fact that his judicial ideas placed him just a bit to the right of Vlad the Impaler didn’t help his cause with the liberal Dems – and a half dozen Republicans. In the end, Bork was denied confirmation after 58 Senators voted no. Soon, after the campaign to deny him the seat, a new verb in the lexicon was created: to bork. As per the Oxford English Dictionary “to defame or vilify (a person) systematically, esp. in the mass media, usually with the aim of preventing his or her appointment to public office; to obstruct or thwart (a person) in this way.”

Now, following Andrew Puzder’s withdrawal from consideration for Secretary of Labor it may be time to add another verb to the dictionary: to puzz. Similar in nature to bork, to puzz means “To defame or vilify one’s self systematically, esp. in the mass media, with the unintended aim of preventing his or her own appointment to public office; to thwart one’s own achievement in this way.”

Although Puzder was just one of many of Trump’s unqualified nominees, it was not his complete unsuitability for the job that caused him to bow out. After all, such inexperienced and clueless morons as Rick Perry (DOE), Betsy DeVos (Education) and Scott Pruitt (EPA) were able to slither into their positions thanks to blinkered Republicans in the Senate. No, the Puz’s downfall was less about a strident opposition (the Dems this time are the toothless minority in a filibuster-free world) than his own compendium of self-inflicted misbehavior that made even some of the biggest Senate rubber-stamps gag.

Puzder sought to become the leading advocate for the American labor force straight from his role as the CEO of fast-food conglomerate CKE Restaurants, yet he behaved more like a 21st century plantation owner than a steward of fair play for workers. He is against minimum wages and raising them from their penuriously low threshold. And if the Puz had his way, all those high-priced burger development managers and French-fry engineers would be replaced by robots. He told Business Insider this about robots: “They’re always polite, they always upsell, they never take a vacation, they never show up late, there’s never a slip-and-fall, or an age, sex, or race discrimination case.”

And speaking of sex discrimination, Puzder was sued in 2004 by Caroline Leakan, CKE vice president of investor relations for harassment. Among his offending behavior, “Puzder made it a habit of reaching down to his genitals and ‘adjusting himself’ in front of Plaintiff,” according to Leakan’s complaint. Perhaps Puzder had simply tried to retrieve a dropped bite of Monster Thickburger from his Shriveled Puzzy Bacon Bit.

Puzder also had a complex, internecine arrangement of investments that called into questions about potential conflicts of interest, but this would have been the least of anyone’s worries. Of course he has conflicts of interest! In Trumpworld, not having conflicts of interest is a conflict of interest.

What really caused Puz to get puzzed was the creepy revelation that he beat his wife; allegations that were contained in divorce papers from the 1980s when he was a lawyer in St. Louis. Ex-wife Lisa Henning said that Puzder, “attacked me, choked me, threw me to the floor, hit me in the head, pushed his knees into my chest, twisted my arm and dragged me on the floor, threw me against a wall, tried to stop my call to 911 and kicked me in the lower back.” Pulling an Ivana Trump, Henning now claims Puzder did not abuse he after all – maybe the perpetrator was a robot that just happened to look like him.

Here’s Puzder’s wife describing the now-denied misbehavior on an episode of “Oprah.”

Either she’s lying now or deserves a SAG award for her TV performance back then. Doesn’t really matter now anyway. Andy got puzzed and that’s good news for every working American who toils away for dick wages while harboring a strange feeling of being followed by a robot.

What Can Brown Do For You?

Cologuard is a service that allows you to ship them a piece of your shit and they’ll tell you from the DNA in the smelly sample what your risk is of having colon cancer.

Is it a coincidence, though, that the Cologuard ad shows a brown UPS truck arriving to pick up your poop box? What can Brown do for you? Shipping some brown for you, I guess.

brown

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Out Like Flynn

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“Flim-Flam” Flynn wrongly indicates how many more days he expects to keep his job.

Forced by circumstances of his own making, General Michael Flynn belatedly tendered his resignation as Trump’s National Security Advisor, ending a tenure of 24 days which is just a few orders of magnitude fewer that those of his predecessors serving under other presidents.

“Flim-Flam” Flynn (Trump loves it when his generals have cool nicknames) felt the pressure to bolt after it became painfully clear he had violated the law by engaging as a private citizen the Russian ambassador Sergey Kislyak on the matter of Obama administration imposed sanctions on the Reds for messing with the 2016 election. Furthermore, Flim-Flam denied to VP Pence of having so blabbed before reversing himself in a classic case of mis-remembering – aka. lying. Pence defended Flynn on TV which surely pissed him off to no end when he found out he’d been punked.

(Sidebar: Had Flynn consulted Kellyanne Conwoman he might have been able to keep his job, citing alternative facts as his defense.)

In the days leading up to the resignation, mixed messages came forth from Team Trump, with Kellyanne saying Flynn had Trump’s complete confidence while Sean “Spicy” Spicer indicated Trump was mulling over a firing.

Finally, when it was beyond obvious that Flynn had to go, Trump accepted the letter of resignation – then he quickly tweeted this load of bullshit:

flynntweet

Sorry, Mr. Orange: that’s not the real story. Good try, though.

For a guy who purports to be the world’s greatest CEO, a regular genius of a hands-on General Manager, Trump really is out of his element.

First, Flynn had previously run the Defense Intelligence Agency under Obama and was forced out because, as the Washington Post reported “Critics said that his management style could be chaotic and that the scope of his plans met resistance from both superiors and subordinates. At the same time, his tenure was marked by significant turbulence, including the fallout from the classified intelligence files leaked by former intelligence contractor Edward Snowden, as well as other emerging crises.”

If a cretin like Flynn can’t cut the lower level job, why would a world-class GM like Trump consider him for a far more complicated assignment?

Second, soon after Flynn had his call with Kislyak in December, intelligence officials who monitor comms with the Commies concluded the general had probably crossed the line. They consulted with the Justice Department who concurred and together took the bad news to Trump’s minions; whether they informed their boss or cowered away to bury the news is not known to us at Major Terata. Still, all the evidence that Flim-Flam Flynn was a toxic creature from a black lagoon seems to have been ignored like the reports that Saddam had no WMDs.

But most telling is point three: that a so-called intelligence expert like Flynn didn’t know or care that his conversation with an official Russki would be monitored and subsequently revealed in due course. Total rookie asshole move. In the end, Flynn should have been fired for stupidity first, unlawful behavior second, and lying to a superior third.

But Trump would prefer to overlook all that and blame unnamed “leakers” for the failure.

If this is indicative of Trump’s executive skills, I suggest you read The Wreck of the Penn Central to get a sense of the country’s future.

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Twitty Conway

bowlingBy now the whole world knows (whether all will admit it is another thing) that Kellyanne Conway, the Trump Whisperer, is a bona fide twit.

The ditzy blonde went on MSNBC to tell fellow twit Chris Matthews that Trump’s ban on Muslims from seven countries – whose emigrants to the U.S. have committed a sum total of zero terrorist attacks on American soil since 2001 – was very much akin to Obama’s ban on Iraqi’s after the not-so-famous “Bowling Green Massacre.” Not-so-famous because, as Twitty Conway noted, “Most people didn’t know that because it didn’t get covered.”

She could have gone on to say, “It didn’t get covered because it didn’t happen,” but that would have ruined the fairy tale – kinda like telling the kiddies that Cinderella died in a three-pumpkin pileup at midnight on the road out of the Prince’s castle.

You’ll note in the video at minute 3:00 that whiz-bang interviewer Chris Matthews just lets Kellyanne’s devastating hallucination about some “Bowling Green Massacre” go unchallenged. Shit, had she known Chris was so brain dead, she could have tossed in the “Wilkes-Barre Flesh Eating Slime Disaster” and the “Sarasota Rectal Itch Plague of 2006“ – two more of Obama’s massive fuck-ups that no one covered.

Of course, such a monstrosity of a lie could not remain unchallenged for long, even in this era of fake news and shameless artifice. In due course, Kellyanne explained the whole kerfuffle away, saying she simply meant to say “Bowling Green terrorists.“ “I misspoke one word,” complained the aggrieved twit.

Soon though, thanks to the fact that everything ever written has been stored somewhere in the wondrous “cloud,” it came to light that Conway had made the same bogus argument in late January in a phone interview with Cosmopolitan. Attempting to equate Trump’s ham-handed ban with a tightening of vetting ordered by Obama, she falsely claimed Obama banned Iraqis “because two Iraqi nationals came to this country, joined ISIS, traveled back to the Middle East to get trained and refine their terrorism skills, and come back here, and were the masterminds behind the Bowling Green massacre of taking innocent soldiers’ lives away.”

Was it a slip of the tongue to mention “Bowling Green massacre” twice? Only if you have a forked tongue.

Twitty Conway has been properly brutalized since making the claim to Matthews. But what people should do instead of, or in addition to making fun of Kellyanne is demand that no television outlet allow her to come on the air. It always galled me that losers who were fatally wrong at every step before, during and after the Iraq War were allowed to come on TV later and be treated as experts on foreign affairs.

Giving air time to a proven dissembler and half-wit like Kellyanne Conway strikes me as equally misguided.

I’m Sensing a Pattern

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A Kushy Job


The kind of takedown of Jared Kushner we’d love to see…

The U.S. recently raided an Al-Qaeda compound in Yemen with the goal of confiscating laptops and cell phones in the hope of collecting inside intel on the terrorist group – and hopefully kill a few of the militants along the way. As is often the case in such risky endeavors, the fog of war descended and plans went out the window. Military men got hurt and killed, an Osprey aircraft crashed and had to be destroyed, civilians died.

The New York Times ran a piece in today’s paper citing the back-story that led to the decision to go forward with the mission.

“Just five days after taking office, over dinner with his newly installed secretary of defense and the chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, President Trump was presented with the first of what will be many life-or-death decisions: whether to approve a commando raid that risked the lives of American Special Operations forces and foreign civilians alike.

With two of his closest advisers, Jared Kushner and Stephen K. Bannon, joining the dinner at the White House along with Defense Secretary Jim Mattis and Gen. Joseph F. Dunford Jr., Mr. Trump approved sending in the Navy’s SEAL Team 6, hoping the raid early last Sunday would scoop up cellphones and laptop computers that could yield valuable clues about one of the world’s most dangerous terrorist groups.”

Jared Kushner was there? Is it even remotely possible to make a coherent case why a child like Kushner should be involved in, or even nearby, a decision whether to send men into deadly combat? Even if Juvie Jared was just sitting at the big-boy table to snarf coq au vin, or to ingratiate himself further with daddy-in-law – his presence in (and possible contribution to) a decision of life and death is deeply troubling. (We’d love to watch Al Pacino dress down the Kush: “who told you you could work with men?”)

Silver-spooner Kushner was born into a wealthy real-estate development family just like big daddy Donald, and soon learned the ways of leveraging other people’s money. He graduated from Harvard in 2003 (he was admitted after his father donated $2.5 million to the university), and went on to snatch advanced degrees from NYU (after his father donated $3 million to the university.) At the ripe old age of 25, Jared bought the New York Observer for $10 million with money he earned from his paper route (and some loans backed by his family.)

Unless he held an undercover assignment reporting to Sylvester Stallone, there’s no evidence Mr. Presidential Advisor ever served in the military. Still, Kushner holds tremendous sway inside the West Wing, giving his approval or black balls to various and sundry contenders for plum White House appointments.

And he may also be opining on matters of greater impact, like whether America should engage in fisticuffs with Iran, or help Israel abscond with the entire West Bank. How did the fate of the country become the purview of a rank amateur?

Kushner is just one among many uniquely unqualified agents in the executive branch, including Ben Carson at HUD, Rick Perry at DOE (!), and Betsy DeVos at Education.

Don’t be surprised if, as Los Angeles or Chicago or Miami is smoldering, Donald Trump pats Jared on the back and exclaims, “Kushy, you’re doin’ a heck of a job.”

Nuclear Option

Whoever came up with this doomsday moniker for a Senatorial procedural change to filibuster rules was a obviously bit of an alarmist. Leave it to coddled U.S. Senators to equate what little they do to something manifestly devastating as a nuclear bomb.

Whatever you want to call it, Democrat Harry Reid when he was Senate Majority leader took the radioactive step of shit-canning the filibuster rule as it had applied to presidential nominees (except Supreme Court Justice appointments) – and people of all stripes swooned and called for the smelling salts. No longer did a candidate have to garner 60 votes to take a seat. No longer could a fussy minority halt all progress with a simple tantrum.

Republicans called it tyranny (even though their own shameful abuse of the filibuster kept hundreds of appointments in limbo for no good reason other than to spite Obama); some Democrats wrung their hands, fearful of what might happen if the tables turned and the Reps got the Senate back.

Sure enough, the Reps won the Senate – and they’re poised to approve any and all of Trump’s nominees, be they shameless sycophant, clueless billionaire, or mere multi-millionaire newbie to politics. Democrats are now ruing the day Reid changed that rule by invoking the “nuclear option,” whining as though the Republicans would never have done the same thing when given a chance had Harry not already done the dirty work for them. Stupid fucks.

It is manifestly obvious that regardless of what Reid did or didn’t do, that the Reps would have pushed the button down. And if the Dems try to pull a filibuster of Neil Gorsuch, Trump’s nominee to the Supreme Court, watch how fast Bitch McConnell does a Harry Reid impression and completes the circle in closing off the filibuster altogether. (I say if because there are quite a few poopy-pants Dems up for re-election in 2018 in red states who fear decimation if they hold up Gorsuch’s appointment.)

Trump called for it – “If we end up with that gridlock I would say if you can, Mitch, go nuclear,” – and so the Bitch will have no choice but to comply with his master’s voice.

End Note: The Fugly Osprey

The raid in Yemen relied on the notoriously ill-designed Osprey, which, as should have been expected, landed hard causing serious injury to military on board, and later had to be destroyed by an air-strike. (Maybe it would have been better to let Al-Qaeda confiscate it whole and hope they copy it, thus condemning hundreds of their fighters to horrible deaths in predictable crashes.)

I pity anyone who has to set foot inside one of these fuck-ups and take to the air.

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Trick Question

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Proud of his grade, Trump shows off his executive order to the rest of the kindergarten class.

“The Generals,” as Trump refers to them as though they’re an amorphous blob (or maybe he’s confused them with the team that always loses to the Harlem Globetrotters), must be wondering if their Commander-in-Cheese had posed a trick question. This past Saturday Trump signed yet another in a flurry of executive orders directing his new defense secretary James Mattis to submit a strategy within 30 days to defeat the Islamic State, aka. ISIS.

That’s right. Donald Trump, the man who insisted for months that he had a plan to defeat ISIS – a plan he had to keep secret so the enemy wouldn’t be ready for it, and so that his political opponents wouldn’t co-opt it as their own – has now asked “the Generals” to come up with a plan of their own. No doubt Trump has posed this challenge for which he already has a “foolproof” solution simply to test Mattis’s battlefield skills – kinda like Mr. Miyagi in “The Karate Kid.”

After all, while on the presidential trail Trump dangled these coy teasers:

“I don’t want the enemy to know what I’m doing. All I can tell you, it is a foolproof way of winning, and I’m not talking about what some people would say, but it is a foolproof way of winning the war with ISIS.”

“I have a simple message for [ISIS]: Their days are numbered. I won’t tell them where and I won’t tell them how…We have to be unpredictable. And we have to be unpredictable starting now. But they’re going to be gone. ISIS will be gone if I’m elected president. And they’ll be gone quickly.”

“The problem with politics is if I tell you right now, everyone else is going to say, ‘Wow, what a great idea.’ You’re going to have 10 candidates go and use it, and they’re going to forget where it came from, which is me. But no, I have an absolute way of defeating ISIS.”

But even though they sink ships, Trump’s got loose lips. Here’s a glimmer of the master plan as revealed by its architect:

“I would bomb the shit out of ‘em. I would just bomb those suckers. That’s right. I’d blow up the pipes…I’d blow up every single inch. There would be nothing left.”

“The other thing with the terrorists is you have to take out their families. When you get these terrorists, you have to take out their families.”

And there it is; the genius of Trump. Proposing a strategy no one had ever previously imagined: bombing the shit out of ISIS and their families. (Sidebar: It’s entirely possible Obama independently arrived at this option too, but as the “founder of ISIS,” had no desire to carry it out.)

And what of Mattis? Does he parrot back Trump’s answer to the challenge and risk looking like a brown-noser? Does he come up with something completely different and bear Trump’s wrath for failing the test? Does he distract Trump with a plan to invade Grenada again?

Or does he just coast along, knowing that this week brings seventeen more executive orders for the emperor’s signature after which the 30 day defeat ISIS quiz will fade away like a fart in the wind?

Victor Laments his Victory

Trump won the 2016 Presidential election against Hillary Clinton, 304 to 227 Electoral College votes, and now sits atop the Executive Branch of the United States government poised to rule the globe. As the newest “leader of the free world” Trump is really busy – busy struggling to make a case that his loss to Clinton of the popular vote by a margin of nearly three million votes was due to millions of fraudulent ballots cast by illegal immigrants (along with some space aliens who managed to fraudulently get some of their own into Congress.)

wwn

Clearly the man is obsessed with gaining absolute victory no matter what the facts on the ground indicate. He can’t stand the faint taint of illegitimacy, so he’s on a mission to make up down and left right. Call it reverse sour grapes, but Trump’s obsession with a statistic that has nothing to do with his desired outcome is a bit weird and troubling. Still, he’s not the first victor to lament his victory.

September 1, 1945. Washington, DC.
President Harry Truman announces the unconditional surrender of the Japanese, ending World War II. “The thoughts and hopes of all America—indeed of all the civilized world—are centered tonight on the battleship Missouri. There on that small piece of American soil anchored in Tokyo Harbor the Japanese have just officially laid down their arms. They have signed terms of unconditional surrender. Four years ago, the thoughts and fears of the whole civilized world were centered on another piece of American soil—Pearl Harbor. The mighty threat to civilization which began there is now laid at rest. It was a long road to Tokyo—and a bloody one. We shall not forget Pearl Harbor.”

Truman goes on to note, “We actually would have won the battle at Pearl Harbor, but a convention held the night before at the Waikiki Hilton of three to five hundred Don Ho impersonators – performing illegally I might add – distracted our soldiers and sailors from their appointed duties.”

January 12, 1969. Miami, FL. Super Bowl III.
Joe Namath has just led the underdog NY Jets of the feeble AFL to victory over Johnny Unitas’s vaunted Baltimore Colts, 16 to 7. The press cannot believe what they’ve just witnessed: the Jets, a 17 point underdog led by a flamboyant playboy have vanquished a bedrock team of the superior NFL. Namath is quoted in the locker room as saying, “I guaranteed the game… but we would have won by another 7 to 10 points if the grass on the field had been properly mowed. I’ll be forming a task force to look into shoddy field maintenance after tomorrow’s hang-over subsides.”

July 20, 1969, Moon
After a nail-biter of a landing, Neil Armstrong has exited the lunar excursion module and set foot upon the Moon becoming the first human being to visit a place in the Solar System outside of the Earth. As he steps off the ladder onto the finely-dusted lunar soil Armstrong famously remarks, “That’s one small step for man, one giant leap for mankind – but I gotta say, if those Poindexters in Houston had designed this ladder properly, it would have been any even smaller step, at least for this man. I fly 250 thousand fucking miles crammed in a phone booth, shitting down a hose for a week, and then I gotta jump two feet to the ground? In this garbage bag of a space suit? It’s lucky I didn’t rip a hole in it and have my balls sucked clean out.”

October 15, 1995. Baghdad, Iraq.
Running unopposed, Saddam Hussein won the presidency after garnering 99.96% of the 8.4 million votes cast. The election involved paper ballots that read, “Do you approve of President Saddam Hussein being the President of the Republic?” and gave voters the option of marking “yes” or “no.”

After the election, Saddam took to his presidential balcony with his AK-47 and addressed his fellow countrymen. “Loyal subjects, make no mistake. I would have won 100% if someone hadn’t illegally printed the “no” option on the ballot. For that, you all must die.” Poisonous gas emanates from sewer grates while Saddam sups on a plate of kibbeh made with ground Kuwaiti.

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The Oaf of Office

oaf
The official transcript of the Oath of Office as administered by Chief Justice of the U.S. John Roberts to Donald Trump, January 20, 2017:

Roberts: Raise your right pussy grabber and repeat after me. I, Donald John Trump —

Trump: I, King Donald the First, Emperor of Fifth Avenue, Conqueror of the Southern Extremes, Defender of the Eleventh Chapter, Pageant Master, Arbiter of the Loser, Negotiator of Souls, Tweeter in Chief, Gatekeeper of the —

Roberts: Do solemnly swear —

Trump: You want me to swear? Seriously? OK. Fuck the dishonest media, and fuck Alec Baldwin. And that asshole from CNN who tried to ask a question. Fuck him. ISIS? Eat my taco-bowl-bowel movement, scumbags! And those bitches who made up total lies about me fondling them? Suck my dick – I mean it … later … in the Oval. And Rosie O —

Roberts: That I will —

Trump: Are you cutting me off? Cuz no one cuts me off. Well, maybe Jared, when he does that cute thing with his nose, but, uh … No one cuts me off!

Roberts: Well, we really have to move —

Trump: Fuck you too, Father Time. Nice outfit. Don’t you know Orange is the new black?

Roberts: That I will faithfully execute —

Trump: Don’t tell me. Let me guess. Crooked Hillary? Bill Maher? Everyone left in Guantanamo?

Roberts: That I will faithfully execute the Office of President of the United States —

Trump: Wait a minute. Let me look up “faithfully” … Not sure what that means …. OK, I probably can’t do that, but hell, I will faithfully execute the Office of President of the United States —

Roberts: And will to the best of my ability, preserve, protect and defend the Constitution of the United States.

Trump: Hold on. I need to see this Constitution thing before I sign off on all that beautiful bullshit you just laid on me. Remember, I wrote the “Art of the Deal.” Huge seller. I know deals, and this preserve and protect shit doesn’t sound like a good one to me. Where’s Deutsche Bank? Unless they’re in this with 90 percent of the financing, and there’s an indemnification clause that protects me from liability, I can’t go forward. Maybe if it was just preserve, or just defend, but hell, you want me to take on all three projects? At the same time? Where’s my leverage? Am I gonna have to file a 13D when this is all done?

Roberts: I’m, uh, not sure. Scalia would know.

Trump: Goddammit! Where the fuck did Barron go now? Melania! Wake up!

Roberts: So help me, God. Really. Help me God.

This must be awkward on Easter

Gwyneth Paltrow is shilling on Goop for a revolutionary “secret” product referred to as a jade egg which women are instructed to insert in their vaginas. The poop from Goop is that “jade eggs harness the power of energy work, crystal healing, and a Kegel-like physical practice. Fans say regular use increases chi, orgasms, vaginal muscle tone, hormonal balance, and feminine energy in general.” Just so you know, the jade egg is $66, but there’s also a rose quartz egg for $55 – not sure what the benefits are of spending an extra eleven bucks.

Yoni-eggs-illustration_christine_mcadams-150x150

In any event, at least one gynecologist, Dr. Jen Gunter of Kaiser Permanente in San Francisco, thinks the concept of sticking an egg in the yoni is a “load of garbage.” Gunter explains: “The claim that they can balance hormones, is quite simply, biologically impossible…As for female energy? I’m a gynecologist and I don’t know what that is!” She also mentioned something about toxic shock syndrome that sounded kinda bad.

All this makes me wonder… should I stop wearing my Prince Peter Pecker Pump while driving to work?

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A Scary Home Companion

echoAmazon has come a long way since the days it shipped books and bowling balls at a loss direct to consumers who ordered such products on a new-fangled invention called the internet. Out of necessity, but also with an intuitive sense of the future, Amazon pioneered robotics to manage vast warehouses, and they invested hugely in hyperscale computing systems to manage all the order traffic and analyze consumer buying behavior in an almost insidious way. Soon they were trying out their algorithms to guess, for example, what a buyer of “In Cold Blood” and a wood-chipper might be swayed to add next to his order.

When they analyzed their in-house computer usage and identified periods of light usage, Amazon took a page from the Hotels.com playbook and began to rent out unused computer cycles to anyone who needed a boost. At first it was just a way to monetize a commodity with a limited shelf life. Now Amazon is a leader in what has come to be known as Cloud computing, butting heads with unexpected competitors like HP and IBM (whom they beat out for a Cloud contract with the CIA – once the kind of client IBM considered inviolably loyal.)

I saw the movie “Manchester by the Sea” the other day, and was greeted at the opening by a logo for Amazon Studios, the production company behind the possible Oscar contender.

Books. Vacuum cleaners. Hollywood movies? It seems there is no industry that Amazon feels compelled to ignore.

And as with Cloud computing, Amazon has recently embraced another fast-emerging technology: the so-called “Internet of Things.” Known as IoT, the technology allows simple devices and sensors embedded in practically every appliance to collect and share enormous amounts of data specific to their environs. Cars, refrigerators, Fitbits, cell phones, chip-enabled credit cards, cows headed to slaughter – all house tiny devices capable of revealing real-time and accumulated data like speed, temperature, location, altitude, seat-belt usage, number of times you went to the bathroom, whether anything came out, and on and on.

Amazon, along with several other firms looking to embed themselves like ticks into their customers’ hides to predict and coerce behavior, has released into market an IoT gadget called Echo which is enhanced with an AI (artificial intelligence) feature called Alexa. Echo owners talk to the device which recognizes the name “Alexa” when spoken; in response it can do these things:

  • Play all your music from Amazon Music, Spotify, Pandora, iHeartRadio, TuneIn, and more using just your voice
  • Fill the room with immersive, 360º omni-directional audio
  • Allow hands-free convenience with voice-control
  • Hear you from across the room with far-field voice recognition, even while music is playing
  • Answer questions, reads audiobooks and the news, reports traffic and weather, gives info on local businesses, provides sports scores and schedules, and more using the Alexa Voice Service
  • Control lights, switches, and thermostats
  • Always getting smarter and adding new features.

Always getting smarter? Is that the kind of thing people really want in their kitchens? Like a demonic toaster that burns the image of Satan into your bagel? Or like that blender that keeps lunging for your fingers?

Recently, police in Arkansas got the idea that Alexa may have eavesdropped in on a grisly crime. Once someone summons “Alexa” the device starts recording what it hears – presumably that’s how it’s always getting smarter. The cops think a dead body found in suspect James Bates’ bathtub was not the result of an accident, but of murder – and they want to test the theory by listening to what Alexa heard that dark and stormy night. Perhaps Bates addressed “Alexa” at some point before the drowning which activated Echo’s recording mechanism that stores what’s spoken to it in Amazon’s cloud – and kept on recording as Bates strangled his acquaintance in the tub.

The police asked Amazon for assistance and got the snub; naturally Amazon refused the request so as to allay potential customer fears that the all-seeing/all-knowing company is spying on them and might cough up incriminating or embarrassing info whenever law enforcement asks more than twice.

But how long might the Amazon stonewall last? Will it stand firm like Apple, only to watch helplessly as the FBI slurps up the data anyway? And is Amazon, despite its vaunted security, absolutely immune to a foreign hack attack that might result in the posting of millions of juicy conversations? (Husband to his wife Alexa: “Alexa, drop the whisk, hike the skirt, and get your ass on the counter for some of the old in-out.” Alexa the Wife: “Oh, you nasty boy.” Background noise of eggs sizzling in a pan along with intermittent grunting.)

Oh, the possibilities are endless – which is why Echo (along with Google’s Home and Apple’s Siri) is such a scary home companion.

Manchester by the Screenwriter Handbook

Stop now if you plan to see “Manchester by the Sea” and don’t want to be spoiled.

Casey Affleck plays a downtrodden man named Lee who toils away as a janitor outside Boston. He learns one snowy day that his brother – who has a cardiac problem of which he is well-aware – has died. The brother is divorced from a shrew of a wife, and leaves behind a 16 year old son who once was close to his uncle Lee until some bad shit caused Lee to go into exile from Manchester. Lee shows up to meet with his brother’s lawyer, presumably to discuss the last will and testament – only to discover that the brother laid out a comprehensive plan for Lee, unbeknownst to him, to become the guardian for the son. Naturally, Lee is flabbergasted. He’s unprepared for the burden and has no desire to move back to Manchester where he had become a pariah.

But as I watched the scene unfold, I couldn’t help thinking: is this even possible? Could a person legally establish another person as a future guardian without that person’s prior knowledge and agreement? The man knows he has a bad ticker and could drop at any moment, so he sets up a plan backed with financing for his brother take care of his son – but doesn’t bother to inform anyone of his choice except the lawyer? And the lawyer in the movie acts like a first semester 1L, surprised that the document he drew up for his client hadn’t been shared with the principle named to carry out the wishes herein.

This is a key plot element of the movie, and it smells a bit bullshitty. Overall a good film with strong acting, but the screenwriter needed that formulaic midway plot motivator to keep the movie going, so…

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Trump Gags on his Own Medicine

fsbApparently, Trump doesn’t like the taste of his own medicine. That’s right; like dozens of commodities that bear his “luxury” name, Trump has his own brand of medicine which entails endless, shameless shilling of unsubstantiated innuendo and false rumors. But when offered that same medicine, he spits it out like a churlish child, throwing tantrums and shitting on anyone who dares to mention it.

For years, Trump promoted the false claim that Obama was not born in America, and was therefore an illegitimate president. Back in 2012, Trump blasted out to the Twitter world, “An ‘extremely credible source’ has called my office and told me that @BarackObama’s birth certificate is a fraud.” He claimed to have sent private investigators to Hawaii to mill around in the archives: “They cannot believe what they are finding.” In fact, he did not send investigators; what Trump did do was regurgitate phony stories and call on hackers to dig into Obama’s college records in what some may call a fishing expedition, and others might call a witch hunt. Ultimately, Obama relented to Trump’s obsessive demands and released his long-form birth certificate – but that wasn’t enough to mollify the Orange Man. He expressed ongoing skepticism that the document was authentic, and continued his torment. Finally, during the 2016 campaign, Trump announced rather anticlimactically, “President Barack Obama was born in the United States.” – then in Orwellian-speak, added in classic “art of the eel” fashion, ““Hillary Clinton and her campaign of 2008 started the birther controversy. I finished it.”

Okay. Trump drove a multi-year campaign of unsubstantiated innuendo against Obama, and when it finally ran out of gas, he moved on without so much as an apology.

Now, Trump is on the receiving end of some seriously disturbing innuendo, and he’s going ballistic. Opposition research done by former British MI6 agent, Christopher Steele which was actually first commissioned by supporters of Republicans running against Trump for the GOP nomination and then later pursued by the Clinton camp after Trump clinched recently surfaced. The content is quite damning for the PEOTUS in waiting.

In a turnabout rich in irony, Trump tweeted, “FAKE NEWS – A TOTAL POLITICAL WITCH HUNT!”

Who knows if any or all of the stuff in Steele’s report is true – and by all rights, who should care? Using Trump’s example with “Birtherism,” those who oppose him should pimp the allegations hard, and campaign relentlessly that Trump is a Russian stooge and a pervert to boot.

Most of the report deals in Trump’s shady business dealings in Russia, but there’s also some salacious stuff heaving off the pages. Here’s one of the juicier items from the report.

“There were other aspects to TRUMP’s engagement with the Russian authorities. One which had borne fruit for them was to exploit personal obsessions and sexual perversion in order to obtain suitable ‘kompromat’ [compromising material] on him. According to Source D, where s/he had been present, (perverted) conduct in Moscow included hiring the presidential suite of the Ritz Carlton Hotel, where he knew President and Mrs. OBAMA (whom he hated) had stayed on one other official trips to Russia, and defiling the bed where they had slept by employing a number of prostitutes to perform a ‘golden showers’ (urination) show in front of him. The hotel was known to be under FSE control with microphones and concealed cameras in all the main rooms to record anything they wanted to.”

Damn! Is that how he gets his hair to be so yellow?

Is this account true? If you’re in a Trumpian mind-set the answer is “absolutely yes” until and unless it’s disproven. And even then you might still want to pimp it some more.

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The Envelope Please…

streep…And the award for most overrated actress goes to….

RRRRRIPPPPP

Meryl Streep! This is the first award for Ms. Streep in the category of most overrated actress, and the only award she has never won. Truly an honor. Deepest congratulations, Ms. Streep on adding this prestigious accolade to your three Academy Awards, your eight Golden Globes, your three Critics’ Choice Movie Awards, your ten People’s Choice Awards, your two Screen Actors Guild Awards, your three Elle Women in Hollywood Awards, your four Italian Online Movie Awards, your six Kansas City Film Critics Circle Awards, your two London Film Critics’ Circle Awards, your four Los Angeles Film Critics Association Awards, your four National Board of Review Awards, your four National Society of Film Critics Awards, your five New York Film Critics Circle Awards, your two Primetime Emmys, oh, and your Presidential Medal of Freedom Award.

You are truly, truly overrated.

Next up, we reveal the winner of the best bad actor in a dual role. The nominees are Kim Jong Un for his portrayal of a lunatic dictator of a small impoverished country AND an addled Rogaine addict who forces Edward Scissorhands cut his locks; Rodrigo Duterte as the murderous thug president of the Philippines AND the unrivaled impersonator of Mr. Hankey.

hankey

And finally, in what may be the first of many ignoble awards to be bestowed upon him in the coming days and years, Donald Trump for his spot-on mockery of a disabled reporter AND his heartfelt performance afterwards denying what 50 million people saw with their own eyes – and pulling it off for at least 25 million of them who shrouded their heads and bellowed “Hoax!”

trumpserge

And the award goes to….

RRRRRIPPPPP

Making America Great Again – Donald Trump! Accepting on behalf of his majesty is “Trump Whisperer” Kelly Ann Conway…

conway

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Carl Paladino Knows Mad Cow Disease

TrumpcarlArtvoice, a Buffalo-based media outlet recently posed a set of four mundane questions to local personalities as part of an end-of-year puff piece. It’s the kind of thing many local newspapers and e-zines commonly publish in the slow weeks leading to a new year. Here are Artvoice’s scintillating questions:

1. What would you most like to happen in 2017?
2. What would you like to see go away in 2017?
3. Who would you like to see run for mayor of Buffalo in next year’s election?
4. Should the new $50 million Amtrak station be at Central Terminal or Canal Side?

Sue Marfino, the owner of a retail shop called Shoefly predictably answered the first two questions as follows: 1) A return to shopping in communities and at brick & mortar stores, and 2) Mindless shopping online. Jan Jezioro, Artvoice’s classical music columnist was a bit more partisan with his responses: 1) Impeachment of Donald Trump, and 2) Donald Trump; as was Jeff Mucciarelli, co-owner of 31 Club who said 1) ISIS removed from this earth, and 2) President Obama and the Clinton corruption.

Everyone offered an opportunity to email answers to Artvoice’s questions came back with reasonably thoughtful, if irreverent responses. Everyone, that is, but Carl Paladino, real-estate developer, school-board member, one-time failed candidate for New York State governor, and self-described friend of Trump. Apparently misunderstanding the light-hearted tone expected from Artvoice in a holiday season, Cro-Magnon Carl vented his spleen in a way he might have thought was amusing but came across to most sentient beings as horribly vicious – and unfunny.

1. Obama catches mad cow disease after being caught having relations with a Herford. He dies before his trial and is buried in a cow pasture next to Valerie Jarret, who died weeks prior, after being convicted of sedition and treason, when a Jihady cell mate mistook her for being a nice person and decapitated her.
2. Michelle Obama. I’d like her to return to being a male and let loose in the outback of Zimbabwe where she lives comfortably in a cave with Maxie, the gorilla.

Wow. That’s the kinda guy we all wish was on our school board.

Given a chance to prognosticate 2017, Paladino reached into the abyss of bestiality, racism, and paranoid Islamaphobia. Michelle Obama turning back to male? Living with a gorilla? Damn, even Obama haters had to wince a bit at that. And what’s with the arcane reference to Valerie Jarret, someone virtually no one outside the beltway has ever heard of? Is she the biggest boogie-woman Paladino could think of?

When questioned about his words (and implicitly, his sanity), Mr. Charming replied, “It has nothing to do with race.” He went on, as is so often the case with racists, to blame the media, “That’s the typical stance of the press when they can’t otherwise defend the acts of the person being attacked.” (Read more of how Paladino sees things here. )

Remember: Paladino’s words were not something he foolishly uttered by accident in a breezy interview; the dude took the time and effort to craft this slimy shit before pressing send on his semen-crusted keyboard.

Naturally, Paladino came in for some rancid opprobrium following his intemperate commentary.

Erie County Executive Mark C. Poloncarz called on Paladino to resign immediately, as did Assemblyman Sean Ryan of Buffalo. Governor Cuomo slammed the remarks as “racist, ugly and reprehensible.” William Paladino, son of Carl, called his old-man’s ravings “disrespectful and absolutely unnecessary.” The head of the Buffalo School Board wants his addled head on a platter.

Hell, even Trump’s transition team found the whole thing sordid, writing in a statement, “Carl’s comments are absolutely reprehensible, and they serve no place in our public discourse.” It’s interesting to note that Trump himself couldn’t find the time or energy to type out 140 characters to call out Carl – maybe he was too busy working on something more important like slamming Alec Baldwin (again) for his SNL impressions.

But before we shun Paladino for the rest of eternity, let’s consider a likely explanation for his “reprehensible” comments: Poor Carl himself is suffering from mad cow disease – not exclusively from having sex with a Herford, but from consuming one of those Trump Steaks that sat out too long under the Klieg lights.

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Could this be the cause of Carl Paladino’s intemperate musings?

Read the reviews.

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What Swamp?

swamp

Dateline December 21 via CNN: “Gingrich: Trump dropping ‘drain the swamp’

“Drain the swamp” was a refrain of Donald Trump during the presidential campaign, but Newt Gingrich says the president-elect “doesn’t want to use it anymore. “I’m told he now just disclaims that. He now says it was cute, but he doesn’t want to use it anymore,” Gingrich, who informally advises Trump, said Wednesday on NPR’s “Morning Edition.”

Yes, “Drain the Swamp” has become just one more discarded and meaningless juvenile Trump slogan that was used during his vanity campaign to dupe his base into enabling the orange man to recite the Oaf of Office (unless he Tweets it instead) in a couple of weeks.

By now it should be clear: Trump’s bumper sticker blather has morphed into a softened replacement for everything “bullshit.” For example:

A father of two who might normally interject “I call bullshit” on a friend who’s just bragged that he French-kissed Gwen Stefani in the local Hardy’s can instead exclaim, “I call ‘Drain the Swamp!’” In so doing, the father can express righteous indignation while avoiding the utterance of a bad word in the presence of his little kids.

And should a jaunty fellow sipping a Hudson Bourbon Old Fashioned in a tony bar while perusing the Atlantic Monthly note that Hillary Clinton won 3 million more popular votes than Trump, brown-shirts around him can retort, “I call ‘Lock Her Up!’ After all, what could be worse than chanting “zieg heil” than spouting the word “bullshit”?

And if some bleeding heart liberal tries to make a case that deporting 11 million immigrants would be a financial catastrophe and an attack on “family values”, any border vigilante could respond with a sarcastic “I call ‘Build the Wall’.” Makes perfect sense now that “Build the Wall” is synonymous with “bullshit.”

Soon we should see other Trump synonyms for “bullshit” make their way into the vernacular:
“I know more about ISIS than the generals”
“No one respects women more than Donald Trump”
“I was totally against the war in Iraq”
“Thousands of people were cheering as that building was coming down”

Okay, some of these synonyms for “bullshit” don’t roll off the tongue, but such a wide collection to choose from.

Camouflage & Cufflinks

Trump’s two grown sons recently hatched a brilliant way to scarf up some more money from soulless sycophants looking for favors from the president-erect while reducing the population of wild animals at the same time: selling a hunting trip accompanied by your choice of son (Eric or Don, Jr.) for $500,000 to $1 million. No mention of whether Marlon Perkins would come along to narrate the action, although rumor has it the hunt would take place at the San Diego Zoo.

But in a cruel turn, Eric concluded the stunt might sully the purity of the Trump name and cancelled the event which had been dubbed “Camouflage & Cufflinks.” “Ammo & Asslicking” might have been the more appropriate appellation for the sweaty “pay to slay” soiree.

Although disappointing, big donors with big boners can still go on a hunt with Dick Cheney for a modest fee of $100 which includes a box of shotgun shells and a life insurance policy with an accidental death rider.

trumpdog
Don Jr. presents his fiancee with the trophy beagle he bagged on the 14th hole.

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Strap Gail Collins to the Roof

gailwoofGail Collins, one of the lamer op-ed columnists for the New York Times wrote a piece the other day about Mitt Romney’s embarrassing dinner with Trump in which the former Governor and presidential candidate sucked up to the orange man in a futile gambit to become Secretary of State. As soon as I saw that Romney was Gail’s subject, I knew instinctively that she would throw in an aside about Mitt’s dog traveling to Canada on the roof of his car. You see, many years ago it was reported that Romney once drove to Canada on family vacation with Seamus the Irish setter riding atop the minivan in a cage strapped to the vehicle’s roof rack. As Mormon Mitt has a large family – a wife and five boys – it would not seem to me a flight of fancy that the dog might take the trip in his own carrier, no doubt protected from the elements in a properly outfitted cage. Seamus probably endured nothing more stressful than any dog who has flown sedated in the belly of an airplane.

But for some bizarre reason Gail Collins thinks this is an affront that must be mentioned every time Romney appears in one of her inane op-ed columns. Sure enough, as if edicted by Federal law, in her column of December 15 titled For Mitt Romney, Dinner and a Kiss-Off , she wraps up the piece by noting, “And, of course, he’s the guy who once drove to Canada with the family Irish setter strapped to the roof of the car. The worst part was his excuse — not ‘too many kids in the back seat’ but ‘my dog loves fresh air.’ Somewhere, the spirit of Seamus is laughing.”

You think I’m joking about her obsession with Romney’s god-damned dog? It even got so bad, that Gail once wasted a full NYT column – something any pundit or observers would kill for – explaining her obsession with Seamus on the roof. It appeared on March 7, 2012 in puff piece titled Dogging Mitt Romney. But needless to say, she proceeded to hype the meaningless event, tethering it to Romney whenever he appeared in one of her columns.

As Romney hasn’t been big news since he lost his bid in 2012, we have to go back a few years, but here’s a sampling of Gail’s handiwork:

Mitt! Again! What? ; June 18, 2014
Don’t leap to any conclusions. After all, there are a lot of different ways to be back. You can be back as in “back running for president.” Or just back as in “back in the public eye.” Or back driving to Canada with a dog strapped to the car roof.

Mitt’s Oval Office Moment; November 30, 2012
As Romney’s SUV approached the White House grounds, police stopped a man who tried to reach for the car yelling “Mitt! Mitt!” It wasn’t clear what he had in mind. Perhaps he was an angry dog lover who still hasn’t gotten over the fact that Romney once drove to Canada with an Irish setter strapped to the car roof.

Anybody Notice a Pattern?; November 16, 2012
It appears that Mitt Romney was a terrible presidential candidate. O.K., some people have known that ever since the story broke about strapping his dog on the car roof. But now we seem to be reaching a consensus.

Mitt’s Snake-Bit Season; September 19, 2012
It’s not all that unusual for a vice-presidential candidate to go low-profile. And it is totally not true that Mitt Romney strapped Paul Ryan to the top of a car and drove him to Canada. Stop spreading rumors!

Political Page Turners; August 17, 2012
Ryan is the one who likes to catch catfish by sticking his fist into their burrows and dragging them out by the throat. Romney is the one who drove to Canada with his dog strapped to the car roof.

Mitt’s Political Vortex; July 13, 2012
The Republicans currently have a symbolic legislative agenda and a presidential candidate who can be in two places at one time, but whom nobody likes. Other than that, it’s all good. Nobody’s brought up the dog on the car roof for days.

The (Sort of) New Mitt; June 22, 2012
“This isn’t an election about two people. This isn’t an election about being a Republican, Democrat or an independent. This is an election about …
A) lowering the corporate tax rate.”
B) lowering the individual marginal tax rates.”
C) keeping dogs off the car roof.”
D) the future of America.”

Mitt Speaks. Oh, No!; February 1, 2012
Does anybody truly believe that Romney is planning to spend any presidential time dreaming up ways to fix the safety net for the benefit of the very poor? Be real. This is the guy who drove to Canada with the family dog strapped on the roof.

OK, Enough already. Screw you, Gail Collins!

Trump Has to Pick Another Agriculture Secretary

Anim_Homepage

After the sudden death of Zsa Zsa Gabor at age 99, it’s back to the drawing room for Trump.

The orange man originally had his sights set on nominating Eva Gabor for Agriculture Secretary on the strength of her performance as the Manhattan socialite who moves from her penthouse apartment on Park Avenue to work a ramshackle farm with her lawyer husband on Green Acres.

Unfortunately Eva died in 1995, something unknown to Trump’s transition team – and a story denounced as fake by Trump for a week on Twitter.

Anyway, following his landslide victory, Trump turned to Eva’s sister Zsa Zsa, knowing from personal experience that real awesome talent runs in families. Furthermore, both Hungarian actresses were once highly grabbable 10s – so they had that going for them.

Now with Zsa Zsa’s demise Trump will probably nominate his second choice: a Mr. Haney from Hooterville.

But first he must have a highly publicized dinner with contender Heidi Heitcamp so as to set her up for humiliation down the road.

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The Curse of Salvator Mundi

salvator1A Renaissance-era painting titled “Salvator Mundi” thought to have been executed by a student of Leonardo Da Vinci around 1500 was sold at auction in 1958 for less than $100. No doubt the seller considered it a good deal, for the painting, an oil on wood panel depicting Jesus Christ as the savior of the world, was in the words of one restorer “heavily overpainted, which makes it look like a copy. It was a wreck, dark and gloomy.”

Around 2005 an art dealer purchased the painting at an American estate sale for $10,000. No doubt the sellers considered it a good deal because art experts still considered it the product of Da Vinci’s school and not by the master himself. The painting soon came to be owned by a consortium that includes the New York art traders Alexander Parish and Robert Simon.

Then in 2013, after the experts reversed course and concluded the painting was an actual Da Vinci, the traders, with the help of Sotheby’s brokered a private sale to a reclusive Swiss art collector named Yves Bouvier for $80 million. Careful, painstaking cleaning and restoration of the painting revealed the tell-tale brushstrokes of the master – a sort of DNA that revealed the hand of Da Vinci. “Salvator Mundi” (“Savior of the World”) suddenly joined the mere 15 or so paintings by Leonardo Da Vinci known to exist. No doubt the sellers considered it a good deal; after all, in the span of less than 10 years they earned an 800,000 percent profit on their estate sale steal.

Funny, though, how every time “Savator Mundi” changes hands, the seller seems to get boned in the ass. It’s nothing short of a curse. Yes, even the guys who pocketed multi-millions after speculating on a 26 by 18 1/2 inch piece of art believe they got taken.

The consortium that sold the painting for $80 million watched in horror as Bouvier flipped the masterpiece to Russian billionaire Dmitry Rybolovlev just days later for a $47.5 million profit. Perhaps Rybolovlev considered it a good deal – after all some experts now think the painting could be worth $200 million – but there’s so much more to the story.

Unlike the long list of people who once owned “Salvator Mundi” and silently regretted its departure, the poor, suffering art traders who sold the painting for a trifle ~$80 million profit have filed suit against Sotheby’s, claiming they knew or should have known the painting was worth a lot more. They also looked skeptically upon the auction house’s long relationship with Bouvier. In other words, Sotheby’s, who gets paid a handsome commission for its due diligence, either blew the estimate, or worse, was in cahoots with Bouvier. Did Bouvier have a ready buyer in Rybolovlev for “Savator Mundi” before he flipped it? That seems established. Bouvier, Rybolovlev and a Sotheby’s rep met in Rybolovlev’s apartment to look over the painting before it was ultimately sold to Bouvier.

So, it would seem the aggrieved traders have a case that Sotheby’s didn’t have their best interests at heart. But Rybolovlev is also pissed – apparently he was under the impression that Bouvier had purchased the painting on his behalf for a number closer to the $127.5 million he charged the Russian. When he learned that Bouvier slimed a quick $47 mil on the transaction, Rybolovlev hit the ceiling.

Where it goes from here, who knows?

But in case you ever wondered what life’s problems for the .001 percenters look like, l’affaire “Salvator Mundi” offers a unique glimpse.

Christmas Card from Yahoo

Received December 14 – just in time for the holidays [editor's comments in brackets].

We are writing to inform you about a data security issue that may involve your Yahoo account information. We have taken steps to secure your account and are working closely with law enforcement. [Put that in your stocking for us.]

What Happened?

Law enforcement provided Yahoo in November 2016 with data files that a third party claimed was Yahoo user data. We analyzed this data with the assistance of outside forensic experts and found that it appears to be Yahoo user data. Based on further analysis of this data by the forensic experts, we believe an unauthorized third party, in August 2013, stole data associated with a broader set of user accounts, including yours. [Thanks for the timely response!] We have not been able to identify the intrusion associated with this theft. We believe this incident is likely distinct from the incident we disclosed on September 22, 2016. [Does that make it a regift?]

What Information Was Involved?

The stolen user account information may have included names, email addresses, telephone numbers, dates of birth, hashed passwords (using MD5 [That makes me feel better]) and, in some cases, encrypted or unencrypted security questions and answers. Not all of these data elements may have been present for your account. The investigation indicates that the stolen information did not include passwords in clear text, payment card data, or bank account information. Payment card data and bank account information are not stored in the system we believe was affected. [Christmas is all about believing – especially in fantasies.]

What We Are Doing

We are taking action to protect our users:
• We are requiring potentially affected users to change their passwords.
• We invalidated unencrypted security questions and answers so that they cannot be used to access an account.
• We continuously enhance our safeguards and systems that detect and prevent unauthorized access to user accounts. [By enhance, do you mean create for the first time?]

What You Can Do

We encourage you to follow these security recommendations:
• Change your passwords and security questions and answers for any other accounts on which you used the same or similar information used for your Yahoo account.
• Review all of your accounts for suspicious activity.
• Be cautious of any unsolicited communications that ask for your personal information or refer you to a web page asking for personal information.
• Avoid clicking on links or downloading attachments from suspicious emails.
[Stop picking on the reindeer with the shiny, red nose!]
Additionally, please consider using Yahoo Account Key, a simple authentication tool that eliminates the need to use a password on Yahoo altogether. [Apparently, the need to use a password was already eliminated.]

For More Information

For more information about this issue and our security resources, please visit the Yahoo Security Issues FAQs page available at https://yahoo.com/security-update.

Protecting your information is important to us and we work continuously to strengthen our defenses.
Sincerely,

Bob Lord
[Soon to be former] Chief Information Security Officer
Yahoo
[Merry effing Christmas]

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Tom Friedman’s Head is Flat

friedmanTom Friedman, New York Times op-ed writer and the author of “The World is Flat” penned a column the other day titled “Say What, Al Gore, Ivanka Trump and Donald Trump?”

The piece oozed optimism that Trump, by meeting with Al Gore, might harbor second thoughts about the state of climate change which he has called a hoax perpetrated by China to gain commercial advantage. Apparently Ivanka Trump was behind the invitation for Gore to meet her father in the glorious Towers.

Tom gushed in his column, “Ivanka clearly has an influence on her father’s thinking, and the fact that she went out of her way to set up a meeting with Gore, who has done more to alert the world to the perils of climate change than anyone else on the planet, and the fact that Gore described the meeting as ‘a sincere search for areas of common ground … to be continued,’ offer a glimmer of hope.”

A “glimmer of hope?” Seriously, Tommy? Such foolish analysis provides ample evidence that Friedman’s head is flat. By now it should be obvious to any casual observer – let alone a so-called visionary like Friedman – that Trump plays these transparent head-games all the time. Meeting with someone from the mainstream, saying something cogent, to lull his skeptics into a false hope before bringing down the hard-right hammer.

Soon after Trump’s magnanimous sit-down with Gore-tex, he named Oklahoma AG Scott Pruitt to head the Environmental Protection Agency. That Pruitt is an avowed climate change denier and asshole buddy of the fossil fuel industry makes him the perfect choice to decimate the EPA – which was what Trump has always said he wanted to do. The Gore meeting (insult?) was a sheer and obvious diversion, and Friedman fell head over heels for it.

Pruitt has written that “scientists continue to disagree about the degree and extent of global warming and its connection to the actions of mankind,” by which he meant of the several thousand scientists covering the field, there are still those crazy five or six who think global warming is bullshit (and that the moon is made of green cheese.)

In similar fashion, billionaire Trump ran around posing as the champion of blue-collar workers, expertly convincing them that his cloistered, silver-spoon up-bringing somehow made him a kindred spirit with those who drive fork-lifts, scrape coal seams, manufacture air conditioners, and dip French fries into molten oil. He accepted accolades for saving (aka. purchasing with taxpayer funds) 1,100 jobs at Carrier (a number that is closer to 750 when you disregard jobs that weren’t going to Mexico in the first place), then in a bait-n-switch promptly installed Andrew Puzder, the head of the Carl’s Jr. and Hardee’s fast food restaurants, as Labor secretary. Puzder is not too pro on raising the $7.25/hour minimum wage, fearing that lavishing additional money on workers will price them out of the market – or worse, drive the cost up of a burger by an extra dime.

As Puzder’s company, CKE, is no longer publicly traded, it’s not clear what his annual compensation currently is, but when CKE was last public in 2009, the Puz pocketed $7.35 million (not counting stock grants and other such perks.) Unless Puzder worked a million hours at minimum wage that year, it is more likely his take was closer to $2,500 an hour.

But on the flip side, the Puz is the man behind ad campaigns like this one. So he’s got that going for him.


Nice, but how do you get bacon grease out of white cotton blends?

Trump has strung along countless cabinet wannabees (Chris Christie, Rudy Giuliani, Mitt Romney) – who have absolutely no chance with the Orange man – just to embarrass them in the end; it’s his vindictive style. So obvious. Yet Flathead Friedman gushes when he perceives a scintilla of change in Trump’s black heart.

So, Tom Friedman, take the advice from us at Major Terata and stop being so damn gullible!

Happy Hundredth, Kirk Douglas

Kirk Douglas – formerly Issur Danielovitch, a ragman’s son – turned 100 today. He was married to the same woman for 73 years, but rumors abound that the dimpled-one found his way into many a starlet’s hearts including Lauren Bacall, Faye Dunaway, Joan Crawford and Ann Southern.

Douglas was that classic Hollywood A-lister in his heyday, yet he garnered more “lifetime achievement” awards later in his career than serious accolades during his working years, putting him in a category of the snubbed along with Cary Grant, Peter O’Toole and Alfred Hitchcock.

One of my favorite Kirk Douglas films is “Ace in the Hole” directed by Billy Wilder. Kirk plays Chuck Tatum, a reporter who milks a story of a guy trapped in a mine, and practically turns the tragedy into a cash cow carnival.

Check out this scene and enjoy the sheer shock of it.

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Trump’s Razor

TrumpoccamDonald Trump took a call from Taiwan’s leader Tsai Ing-wen, breaking long-standing diplomatic protocol and ticking off China. Until Trump picked up the phone last week, no U.S. president or president-elect had spoken with a leader of Taiwan since 1979, when the U.S. established relations with China. Some people chastised Trump and his band of advisors for their cluelessness, worrying what mixed signals China would take away. Others in the sycophant cohort extolled Trump’s brilliance for throwing China off-balance in advance of a new approach to how the U.S. deals with the adversary.

More than likely there’s another explanation. Call it Trump’s Razor – a corollary to Occam’s Razor which advises that when faced with competing explanations, it is usually the simplest one that is correct. Under Trump’s Razor, the most likely explanation for what he does is the one in which Trump personally benefits.

Going back to the call with Taiwan’s leader, it was neither a diplomatic blunder nor a shrewd stroke of strategic genius; Trump wants to make a major investment in building luxury hotels as part of Taiwan’s new airport development at Taoyuan International called the Aerotropolis project. According to the Guardian , “In November, the Taiwanese press reported that a Chen Si-Ting, a US citizen of Taiwanese origin, had given a speech at a Friends of Trump banquet in central Taipei. Chen claimed at the event on 1 November that Trump’s company was interested in investing in Taiwan and that his son, Eric, would visit the island before the end of the year. In a separate development, Anne-Marie Donoghue, who describes herself as the global head of transient sales and Asia at Trump Hotels, was confirmed to have been in Taiwan in October.” Now, doesn’t that make more sense?

And for what reason are Melania and little soft Barron staying behind in Trump Tower instead of moving to the White House like the families of predecessor presidents? Employ Trump’s Razor: so that Donald can rent out two empty, non-revenue producing floors of his building to the Secret Service for a couple mil a year.

And why would Trump raise issues with Boeing over the supposedly high costs of developing two new Air Force One planes? Is he a protector of the taxpayer? C’mon, think Trump’s Razor. He wants the government to upgrade his own plane at taxpayer expense.

Trump’s Razor – it’s so simple.

Brain Freeze

Weird things happened on ice last week.

A Japanese amusement park called Space World thought it would be, well, amusing to embed several thousand sea creatures just beneath the surface of an ice-skating rink. The management thought it would give skaters the feel of the ocean, and teach them about fish. Like the fact that fish will swim in patterns to form the word “hello.”

fish

Queasy parents thought the attempt was creepy and, although Space World claimed the fish were already dead before being preserved in ice, cruel. It didn’t take long for Space World to buckle under the opprobrium and thaw out the rink. Expect the amusement park to run a week-long special on sashimi deluxe.

And in Russia, it was “Holocaust on Ice.” A pair of competitive figure skaters dressed up in Nazi concentration camp garb straight out of Auschwitz to perform some light-hearted fare on a popular Russki TV show. The couple, Andrei Burkovsky and Tatiana Navka, skated to music from the Academy Award winning movie “Life is Beautiful.” It so happens Navka, who was an Olympic skater is also the wife of Putin’s press spokesman. How do you say “next question” in Russian?

Although the choreographer of the performance is Jewish and defended the routine, most people considered the performance in bad taste. Maybe next time the pair can do something less controversial, like a routine set to the music of “The Killing Fields.”

161128102542-holocaust-ice-skating-routine-russia-exlarge-tease

End Note

Until #corpsegate proven to be false, @mflynnJR is a necrophiliac

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They Left Their Spleens in San Francisco

sfbridgeA straight news story reporting on a poorly designed and potentially dangerous high-rise building in San Francisco garnered several hundred comments, but not many pertained to the actual topic of the article. You might expect to read observations about the looming danger and how the city should plan to deal with it. Or maybe some caustic remarks about the hubris of building developers and smug architects. You might even hope beyond hope that a few comments would come in from learned engineers with suggestions for approaching and ultimately solving the problem.

Instead, this patently non-partisan story about a dodgy building instigated a maelstrom of insanity from what would appear to be bigoted nitwits in flyover country. It’s the stuff of ignorant assholes who probably fancy themselves god-fearing Christians but who sound more like their own parodies of jihadist Islamists who would call upon Allah to inflict painful death upon their enemies.

Below is a sampling of the responses which capture the spirit of a good deal of the commentary (or should I say dysentery.)

Who could blame Californians – who pay way more in taxes than they get back in federal spending so that underachievers in red states can rake in their handouts and subsidies – for wanting to bolt the union?

enuffsenuff
Can someone please make sure Nancy Pelosi is on the downside when it falls?

B H
If we’re lucky … That whole stinking city will fall into the ocean, and drag the rest of that stinking state along with it…

anonymous
Libtards say it’s not sinking it’s actually the ground around it rising. They’re calling it Global Elevation Change and a few new taxes are needed to fix the problem before it’s too late.

anonymous
Engineers say it’s an inch a year, sat data says 1.6 to 1.8 inches a year so the liberals are making petitions demanding a recount.

apostlejohn7777
City full of Perversion and crime and corruption – Let the whole city sink. California sucks. Take it from someone who lives here.

Alex
hopefully that entire wasteland of a city will sink right to the bottom of the pacific and take all those illegals with it.

Gary
Lets all pray the entire cesspool state of California sinks into the Pacific. Good riddance to bad rubbish !!

Cave Cave Deus Videt
Rent the side that isn’t leaning to Rosie O blabber mouth, it will be level in a heart beat.

Michael
It’s San Francisco — just play music from the Village People around the block nice and loud. That will keep the tower erect.

Mojo
It might be because San Franmexico has had a sudden explosion of feral gerbils and they are tunneling to escape the passions of the you know whos.

Chronron
I hope Hillary is under there somewhere! Bye fatty

Jim
There’s still hope the rest Of SF will sink as well. I hope polousi / feinstain is there when it happens & takes a lot of illegals w/ them .

Complicated Simpleton
Sanctuary cities get what they deserve!

AAR
Who cares really, it’s those super rich that lives there anyway.

Bill
I hope it falls down on thousands of liberals…

mike
HA HA SAN FRANCISCO CITY CROOKED OFFICIALS = GOD’S PAYBACK FOR SICKO’S

Rebeldawg
Sinking as fast as the left wing morons that rule the city….can’t wait for the ” Big One ” to hit and clean out that Sodom & Gomorrah…

Ben
The World Trade Center buildings in NYC came straight down. I always thought it would be more exciting to watch a tall building tip over towards the side.

Lock Up the VFW!

Along with torturing alleged terrorists, flag burning is undoubtedly be the most important issue on the minds of the out-of-work, blue-collar, financially struggling white class – and Trump is gonna take it on in his crusade to make America great again.

flag1

flagtrump

flagvfw

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